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Monday 1 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's been the tenth restaurant meal in a row that my husband has to ruin with Instagram, in the belief that anyone cares. FML

#20771120
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37804) - you deserved it (4735)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:45pm - misc - by STOPTAKINGPICTURES (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML

Today, I woke up at my cousin's house after staying the night. I went into the bathroom like I usually do and shut the door. Apparently the door lock on this bathroom doesn't function properly. I discovered this when my 4-year-old cousin walked in on me putting a tampon in. FML

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47191) - you deserved it (4876)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out why my bank balance is so unusually low. It turns out that I bought a car in Indonesia. I've never been to Indonesia. FML

#20766607
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53870) - you deserved it (3209)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:45am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

#20766880
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46995) - you deserved it (5054)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by StockedWithJuice (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I politely asked a man to not sleep on a tram stop that I had to clean. He got up, and while I leaned forward to pick up some trash from the ground nearby, I felt a warm stream on my back. Now I can't get the smell of urine off my clothes. FML

#20769987
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49135) - you deserved it (4405)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:57am - work - by FUCK.THIS.JOB. (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I needed a change of clothes, so I called my mom. She brought me a grey shirt with a toucan on the front and Mexico City spelled in glitter. I asked her why she would bring me such an ugly shirt, and she started crying. Turns out she bought it for me as a present from her trip. FML

#20762834
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26106) - you deserved it (51038)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by awwimanahole (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47282) - you deserved it (9355)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

#20763590
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60029) - you deserved it (4762)

On 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by ugh (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

#20757330
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40008) - you deserved it (5073)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49am - work - by Neveragain (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19040) - you deserved it (59382)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had the opportunity to taste a live spider by walking into its web in the dark. FML

#20770695
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43593) - you deserved it (4578)

On 07/08/2013 at 2:55pm - misc - by pinkXpress1023 - United Kingdom



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