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Thursday 27 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

#20759731
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51514) - you deserved it (5408)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

#20749220
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27448) - you deserved it (34390)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by blahblah (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the stalker flatmate who has been obsessed with me since I first moved into the flat two years ago, graduated. Apparently he told everyone we are an item, because his parents and relatives were smiling and taking pictures of me from their seats two rows ahead of mine at the ceremony. FML

Today while at my job as a store clerk, I walked by a family. I smiled at their little boy, who responded by flipping me off. As I was walking away, I looked back in time to catch his dad give him a high-five. FML

#20761229
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47830) - you deserved it (4008)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:11am - kids - by Nish (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML

#20744309
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47319) - you deserved it (4715)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:06am - kids - by NYCproblems - United States (New York)

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40341) - you deserved it (9162)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML

#20761546
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43441) - you deserved it (2968)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:19pm - health - by ToiletTroubles (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML

#20747890
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37704) - you deserved it (7388)

On 06/26/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52568) - you deserved it (4991)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

#20752548
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48933) - you deserved it (3737)

On 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my 12-year-old son played QWOP on my laptop. Half an hour later, he virtually destroyed it in a fit of rage. FML

#20752773
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (5224)

On 06/28/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Jordan (Al Balqa')

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

#20753919
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48789) - you deserved it (3267)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:01am - kids - by mskawaiibat - United States (California)

Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML

#20758244
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50605) - you deserved it (9093)

On 07/01/2013 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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