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Thursday 27 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

#20749746
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41344) - you deserved it (3863)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

#20750109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44313) - you deserved it (3780)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:02am - work - by rubgy_lover - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49029) - you deserved it (9623)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, I held a party for my family so I could announce my pregnancy. In the middle of my speech, my mother stopped me, saying, "Nobody gives a rat's ass, where's the booze?" FML

#20745652
83 comments

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

#20748362
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44851) - you deserved it (3245)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

#20757330
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41414) - you deserved it (5199)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:49am - work - by Neveragain (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found the purse that some asshat stole from my 15-year-old sister a few days ago. I found it in my now ex-boyfriend's closet. When I confronted him, he broke up with me for "invading" his privacy and kicked me out, without the purse. FML

#20754769
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46369) - you deserved it (3763)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, after spending months learning Chinese, selling my house and everything I own for my big transfer to Hong Kong, my boss decided I should instead go to our other branch across town. FML

#20761984
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52469) - you deserved it (2921)

On 07/03/2013 at 5:01pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML

#20745284
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65124) - you deserved it (4558)

On 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by Creepedout - United States (Florida)

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

#20746882
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42202) - you deserved it (5780)

On 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

#20761976
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46524) - you deserved it (3451)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML

#20748461
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44213) - you deserved it (3947)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door to borrow my laundry room key. He was bare-ass naked. When I refused to open the door, he tried to break it down. I had to call the police before he would leave. FML



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