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Thursday 27 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51916) - you deserved it (3914)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

#20757856
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50628) - you deserved it (10529)

On 07/01/2013 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

#20759121
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53870) - you deserved it (12871)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by yeshehaspornaddiction (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML

#20748752
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41719) - you deserved it (3689)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by MadMax - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49106) - you deserved it (14046)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51929) - you deserved it (5957)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

#20756560
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36176) - you deserved it (30228)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm - work - by readytoamputatemyfeet (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67703) - you deserved it (5854)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

#20754112
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56960) - you deserved it (6728)

On 06/29/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML



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