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Monday 24 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML

#20748338
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41209) - you deserved it (7909)

On 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

#20748362
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43558) - you deserved it (3148)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I held a party for my family so I could announce my pregnancy. In the middle of my speech, my mother stopped me, saying, "Nobody gives a rat's ass, where's the booze?" FML

#20745652
83 comments

Today, I found the purse that some asshat stole from my 15-year-old sister a few days ago. I found it in my now ex-boyfriend's closet. When I confronted him, he broke up with me for "invading" his privacy and kicked me out, without the purse. FML

#20754769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44158) - you deserved it (3601)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54137) - you deserved it (3474)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML

#20748461
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41812) - you deserved it (3748)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML

#20747890
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35883) - you deserved it (7180)

On 06/26/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

#20750109
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43326) - you deserved it (3701)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:02am - work - by rubgy_lover - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my ten-year-old brother came to visit me in NYC. Within ten minutes of walking on Times Square he had seen a prostitute and a partially-naked man. He now refuses to leave my apartment and screams when I try to drag him out. He's here for the next two weeks. FML

#20744309
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45368) - you deserved it (4520)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:06am - kids - by NYCproblems - United States (New York)

Today, my cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandoned birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it exploded and about 30 wasps came after me like the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49444) - you deserved it (4672)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38702) - you deserved it (8937)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my step mom and her kids moved in. This is my first night sharing a room with her daughter. She snores, sleep talks, and sleep scratches the side of the bed creating a sound like nails on a chalkboard. FML

#20753919
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47709) - you deserved it (3183)

On 06/29/2013 at 6:01am - kids - by mskawaiibat - United States (California)

Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML

#20758244
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49642) - you deserved it (8981)

On 07/01/2013 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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