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Monday 24 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my sister called me up extremely excited because she found out Flo Rida is from Florida. She's 22. FML

#20751029
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40872) - you deserved it (3822)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:37pm - misc - by smh - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought some makeup supplies at the supermarket. The cashier snorted and muttered, "Not enough in the world for you." FML

#20756122
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47464) - you deserved it (3801)

On 06/30/2013 at 2:09pm - misc - by foreversingle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

#20751061
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47800) - you deserved it (8528)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm - animals - by Gribby - United States (Missouri)

Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML

#20755318
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48348) - you deserved it (3057)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by unfortunate (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting at my favorite coffee shop, when a creepy 50-ish looking guy sat at my table. He asked if I'm into submissive guys, and if I wanted to dominate him. I'm a 17-year-old girl, and am now scared to ever go back there. FML

#20754256
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47985) - you deserved it (2893)

On 06/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I realized that getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in the test hall, reached into my bag for a pencil, and found instead three baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20028) - you deserved it (62507)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML

#20748338
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42092) - you deserved it (8011)

On 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML

#20751604
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44050) - you deserved it (5572)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

#20747044
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43256) - you deserved it (5175)

On 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML

#20752113
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60768) - you deserved it (4163)

On 06/28/2013 at 8:23am - love - by confusedandnowsingle (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML

#20744316
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61993) - you deserved it (3791)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Coolios (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

#20754108
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26825) - you deserved it (38390)

On 06/29/2013 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57874) - you deserved it (3760)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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