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Thursday 20 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss gave me an autographed photo of himself after he heard that I think he's intimidatingly attractive. FML

#20743881
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38607) - you deserved it (8918)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:20am - work - by myfavoritesgouda (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while life-guarding in a 55+ community, I greeted a man by saying: "Good morning Sir!" He responded with, "Cut the shit kid, I'm not that fucking old." FML

#20746882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39554) - you deserved it (5512)

On 06/25/2013 at 5:45pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML

#20732082
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40639) - you deserved it (2409)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working at my job at a nursing home, I slipped and fell. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just water. No, one of the residents had just had an "accident". FML

#20740385
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42796) - you deserved it (3489)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:20am - work - by no name - United States (Michigan)

Today, a guy's car broke down in my street, so I helped him push it into my driveway, checked his car out, and gave it a jump start. He thanked me, then as he went to pull out, he instead smashed straight into my car. FML

#20737568
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46488) - you deserved it (3575)

On 06/20/2013 at 5:13pm - misc - by clop clop clopping all the way (man) - United States

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

#20746764
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36329) - you deserved it (3091)

On 06/25/2013 at 4:43pm - misc - by mymomplucksbutthair (woman) - United States

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

#20732528
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36890) - you deserved it (5421)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by ProAwkward - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

#20737123
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46162) - you deserved it (3106)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:54pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I thought I was home alone. Likewise, my visiting grandfather thought he was alone. You can imagine the mutual surprise when I caught him stealing money from my sister's bedroom. FML

#20743925
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45868) - you deserved it (2742)

On 06/24/2013 at 1:38am - money - by pumboc (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

#20737057
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39855) - you deserved it (2627)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by whoriblemomindeed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. 20 minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML

#20741908
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42974) - you deserved it (6603)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I met my biological father for the first time. He seemed to be slightly intoxicated from the outset, and less than half an hour later, he had tried to intimidate me into "loaning" him several hundred euros for reasons he wouldn't tell me. So long, "dad". FML

#20750358
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43605) - you deserved it (2824)

On 06/27/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by brigitte (woman) - France (Picardie)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43041) - you deserved it (20447)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)



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