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Thursday 20 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at the airport when I saw a woman drop her bags and run to her husband. Thinking that someone might steal them, I picked up her bags and brought them over to her. She thanked me by slapping me, calling me a bitch and calling security. FML

#20735913
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41707) - you deserved it (5596)

On 06/19/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I fell asleep listening to my music and tanning at the beach. Not only did I wake up with a sunburn, but my iPhone had been stolen. FML

#20743228
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35931) - you deserved it (27887)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by maggie2014 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally unfriended my roommate's mom on Facebook after months of her commenting on my wall multiple times a day and basically stalking me. After discovering this, she drove to our apartment to demand through hysterical tears that my roommate move out because I can't be trusted. FML

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months got upset and frustrated with me because he had yet to meet my mom. I'd told him on our first date that she passed away 4 years ago. FML

#20736145
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53761) - you deserved it (3478)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45648) - you deserved it (6723)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got harassed and screamed at by a middle-aged man for parking in a spot close to the store, because he wanted the same spot so he didn't have to walk so far with his groceries. He took a photo and vowed to report me to the authorities. FML

#20746334
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43106) - you deserved it (3799)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:23pm - work - by couch girl - Singapore

Today, my boss fired me for being "too morally ambiguous". I work at a bagel shop and had told a customer that I was indifferent towards cream cheese. FML

#20749746
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41348) - you deserved it (3863)

On 06/27/2013 at 2:22am - work - by confusedbagel (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I politely asked a patron to be quieter; I was hit in the face. I work in a library. FML

#20750109
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44324) - you deserved it (3781)

On 06/27/2013 at 11:02am - work - by rubgy_lover - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26997) - you deserved it (67660) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I held a party for my family so I could announce my pregnancy. In the middle of my speech, my mother stopped me, saying, "Nobody gives a rat's ass, where's the booze?" FML

#20745652
83 comments

Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML

#20730678
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44975) - you deserved it (5526)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:33am - kids - by cherbear1000 - United States (Maryland)

Today, another "gentleman" called and asked for my "services". This is happening a lot lately, because apparently I have the old number of a prostitute. I told him I'm not who he's looking for, to which he replied that I sound like a "sexy lady" and that he wanted to have some fun. FML

#20748362
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44856) - you deserved it (3245)

On 06/26/2013 at 1:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44575) - you deserved it (4910)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)



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