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Thursday 20 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was diagnosed with strep throat. My mom wasted no time accusing me of whoring around and claiming that most people get strep from performing oral sex. FML

#20750267
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45423) - you deserved it (3247)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:58pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

#20733745
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57258) - you deserved it (9311)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States

Today, after cricket training, the homeless man that lives in the drain next to the nets threw a beer bottle full of piss at me for rejecting him for a date last week. I ducked; it sailed through my car’s open window and smashed all over the seats. FML

#20738647
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49517) - you deserved it (4735)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:04am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45918) - you deserved it (6934)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

#20745749
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27727) - you deserved it (43094)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was told by a friend that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. Her defence was that if I had a bigger dick she wouldn't have been, in her words, forced to go elsewhere for sex. My mother's response when I confided this in her: "Ask me if I care." FML

#20742827
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51369) - you deserved it (4877)

On 06/23/2013 at 3:19pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML

Today, it marks the fourth month since my 15-year-old cousin asked me out, then started practically stalking me when I said no. It's also the fourth month of my parents and his constantly telling me to stop overreacting and that it's "just a phase." FML

#20740640
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46139) - you deserved it (3261)

On 06/22/2013 at 10:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27427) - you deserved it (49030)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

#20730822
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52540) - you deserved it (10933)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51470) - you deserved it (4272)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

#20742647
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55359) - you deserved it (3984)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:26pm - misc - by o_O (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50842) - you deserved it (6272)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)



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