Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Thursday 20 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

#20743211
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57727) - you deserved it (8357)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, while walking around town, some guy grabbed me from behind, clutched at my nipples, and said, "That's where I always imagined they were." FML

#20746398
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55268) - you deserved it (4165)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74396) - you deserved it (4405)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73876) - you deserved it (7026)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML

#20748752
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42482) - you deserved it (3747)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by MadMax - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my mom cut off the legs of all my pants, because she says I don't show enough skin for guys. I'm now forced to wear jaggedly cut shorts that barely cover my thighs until I can buy new ones. FML

#20739324
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53209) - you deserved it (5140)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't been to the dentist in two years and definitely doesn't plan on it because, "That's just how the government steals more money." FML

#20734761
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41801) - you deserved it (5598)

On 06/19/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by RoyallyGrossedOut (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51104) - you deserved it (14711)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

#20735203
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54715) - you deserved it (3538)

On 06/19/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by sicksicksick - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

#20748724
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44859) - you deserved it (4893)

On 06/26/2013 at 4:33pm - intimacy - by theunluckylifeofme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that the money I work hard for on YouTube has been transferred to the wrong person's banking account. That person is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#20732776
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50050) - you deserved it (6647)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:35am - money - by Broccolliboyy (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: