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Wednesday 12 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML

#20726995
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49419) - you deserved it (4860)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:57am - love - by bloody - United States

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

#20730804
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38026) - you deserved it (5210)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Idontbelieveinmagic (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML

#20724353
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42185) - you deserved it (26458)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60427) - you deserved it (4353)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML

#20721430
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67507) - you deserved it (3689)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally left some music playing on my iPad, then left to do some errands. When I came back, I found it smashed into a million pieces. Apparently, grandpa couldn't find any other way to "shut off that goddamn music." FML

#20722030
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50577) - you deserved it (11435)

On 06/12/2013 at 5:45pm - misc - by MsGlaDos - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML

#20733745
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54804) - you deserved it (8978)

On 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm - money - by No money, mo' problems - United States

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

#20733111
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47677) - you deserved it (19453)

On 06/18/2013 at 11:02am - love - by Well, crap (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, I was bombarded with phone calls from debt collectors. After some investigation, it turns out my grandma, who has dementia, has been going into our mailbox and throwing away the outgoing mail because it wasn't addressed to her. I'm now apparently 3 months behind in payments. FML

#20720825
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47712) - you deserved it (8066)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:57am - money - by redvolvo23 - United States

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

#20720952
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52142) - you deserved it (5210)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:21am - kids - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I donated blood for the first time. I'm completely healthy and after waiting the appropriate amount of time I left, feeling fine. That is until I went out to eat with my family an hour later and passed out in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#20724782
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37899) - you deserved it (3910)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:39am - health - by hi_there4397 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

#20734991
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58038) - you deserved it (4322)

On 06/19/2013 at 10:39am - misc - by Overprotected (woman) - United States

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

#20730822
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51725) - you deserved it (10801)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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