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Wednesday 5 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom walked into the bathroom while I was taking a pic to send to my long-distance boyfriend. She then told me I would go to hell for flaunting myself at guys. I was fully clothed, sending a pic to see if he liked my new haircut. That and I'm 21. FML

#20716841
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51353) - you deserved it (3875)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Crazy Mom (woman) - United States

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

#20719275
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41241) - you deserved it (6353)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing "happy birthday". FML

#20711068
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52308) - you deserved it (3228)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:14am - money - by ididntevendrinkthatnight - United States (New York)

Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

#20715817
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43906) - you deserved it (4242)

On 06/09/2013 at 4:49pm - misc - by kalisa anteater (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was told by my grandfather that I was no longer allowed to visit him or to set foot in his house. Why? He found out I have been taking Japanese and German as electives in my degree, so I must be an 'enemy spy'. FML

#20716829
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45265) - you deserved it (4634)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:09am - work - by Frazz (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58526) - you deserved it (3889)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

#20709141
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44078) - you deserved it (7777)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:49am - misc - by dollabill009 - United States

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

#20716424
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34766) - you deserved it (6820)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm - health - by Sean - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper. There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll. He laughed, called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out. FML

#20717345
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47690) - you deserved it (5398)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:55am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

#20720453
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53446) - you deserved it (2316)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at the supermarket, a guy started yelling at me for staring at his "woman." She frankly looked like someone had carved Mick Jagger's face into a turd. When I told him I have better things to do than ogle random women, he started harassing me for being "a queer." FML

#20703298
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40459) - you deserved it (4678)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:48pm - misc - by moreliketurdmart (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

#20709749
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38288) - you deserved it (2782)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I could no longer handle the drum music in the apartment below me so I went to kindly ask the little old lady to shut it off before she goes to bed. Her neighbor came out while I knocked to tell me she is out of town and the music is constant so her cats don't get lonely. FML



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