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Wednesday 5 June 2013

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Today, I went to get an HPV vaccine after being convinced to by my mom. I stayed in the waiting room afterwards, because the vaccine has the possible side-effect of causing fainting. I didn't faint; instead, I spent the next 15 minutes giggling uncontrollably like a psycho. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 2:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML

by kalleylynn / 06/08/2013 at 2:38am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

by no booze, no boyfriend / 06/04/2013 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

by purged / 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. We'd been talking about the move where you pick a girl up and kiss, and how romantic that would be, so we decided to try it. When he picked me up, my head slammed against his ceiling fan. FML

by haleyart / 06/10/2013 at 12:10pm / United States (Louisiana) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, whilst trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told me that I looked fat and awful in the dress I liked. When I told her how hurtful she was being, she told me that I should be grateful that she told me what she thought instead of laughing at me behind my back. FML

by mysea8679 / 06/12/2013 at 6:09pm / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to walk home in the rain because my mom didn't want to get her new car wet. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2013 at 12:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

by Sean / 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm / United States / Health

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started seeing a therapist for my depression. While I was looking through the magazines in the waiting room, I found an article accusing people who see therapists of being selfish and having no real problems. FML

by Selfish Whiner / 06/03/2013 at 7:56am / United Kingdom (North Lincolnshire) / Health

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

by butisavedyourkid / 06/06/2013 at 12:13am / United States / Kids

Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML

by not the cook / 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work