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Wednesday 5 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

#20720590
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37129) - you deserved it (75037)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

#20712090
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70178) - you deserved it (9602)

On 06/07/2013 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by what the fuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61267) - you deserved it (13873)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML

#20721311
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61088) - you deserved it (5963)

On 06/12/2013 at 10:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

#20703790
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63601) - you deserved it (7926)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

#20718644
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31523) - you deserved it (47956)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32363) - you deserved it (68713)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, I spent my last day at the hospital for a long epilepsy test. Apparently, I don't have epilepsy at all, but I do have extreme stress. This means that I've been taking several anti-seizure medications that ruined my college plans and made me sick for half a year, all for nothing. FML

Today, at the office, my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times, in a different format each time, and every single time she replies with, "Not in the requested format". She won't tell me what the requested format is. FML

#20709289
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48681) - you deserved it (4112)

On 06/06/2013 at 8:38am - work - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not remembering our anniversary. Our three week anniversary. FML

#20702606
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58946) - you deserved it (6835)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:31am - love - by BadBoyfriend - United States (Texas)

Today, after telling my mother-in-law about my recent miscarriage, she cheerfully made a cake to celebrate. FML

#20714826
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51634) - you deserved it (3470)

On 06/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anoymous - United States (California)



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