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Wednesday 5 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

#20717566
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31732) - you deserved it (47119)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

#20719191
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80730) - you deserved it (6615)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

#20706140
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80465) - you deserved it (7662)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by ._. (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65320) - you deserved it (12157)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, my boyfriend of six days proposed to me. FML

#20708141
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76810) - you deserved it (10292)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48325) - you deserved it (57904)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36171) - you deserved it (65726)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my fiancée told me that she wants us to have an open marriage. She reasons that since she doesn't equate sex with love, there's no logical reason for me to be against her having sex with other people. FML

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

#20721457
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54696) - you deserved it (7855)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

#20703566
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55912) - you deserved it (5417)

On 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by future burger flipper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

#20712154
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18115) - you deserved it (102239)

On 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML

#20714023
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47169) - you deserved it (3539)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:20pm - work - by I hate my job (woman) - United States

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54386) - you deserved it (10837)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)



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