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Wednesday 22 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my neighbors called the police and said that they saw, through the window, a suspicious person in my house doing something to my piano. The "suspicious person" was me, in my own house, playing my own piano. FML

#20678725
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41038) - you deserved it (2390)

On 05/21/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by pianoplayer (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML

#20682540
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19407) - you deserved it (35050)

On 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by paper towel virgin - United States (Missouri)

Today, I locked my keys in my car. Good thing I went to Lowe's to make spares, which are also now locked in the car. FML

#20684843
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34197) - you deserved it (16399)

On 05/25/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the vet sent me an email wishing my kitten a happy 2nd birthday. My cat died last year. FML

#20686886
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41208) - you deserved it (3397)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:33am - animals - by Tiber46 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML

#20676942
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39283) - you deserved it (2554)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have an upset stomach. Every other minute, it sounds like Chewbacca is screaming to get out. FML

#20675696
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33374) - you deserved it (4293)

On 05/20/2013 at 4:14pm - health - by pixkalexi - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML

#20680205
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34345) - you deserved it (3148)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Snurkles McGee (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it was my very last day teaching my dance class. After the class ended, the owner of the studio started clapping and told all my students to give me a hug. No one hugged me. No one. FML

#20691616
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42262) - you deserved it (4947)

On 05/28/2013 at 6:14pm - work - by funnygirl018 - United States

Today, I e-mailed the on-line instructor for my job, telling her that I had fallen behind in my work due to my grandmother's passing and the subsequent funeral arrangements, but that I would catch up this week. Her reply? "OK. Hope your grandmother gets better soon." FML

#20679441
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41634) - you deserved it (2724)

On 05/22/2013 at 8:28am - misc - by projectfain - United States (Ohio)

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

#20679212
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34315) - you deserved it (2889)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I got a picture message from my aunt that said, "9 out of 10 kids get their awesomeness from their aunt." Normally, I would have agreed, except she forgot my birthday yesterday. FML

#20677224
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31465) - you deserved it (2368)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I changed my teacher's PowerPoint picture to me making a funny face. He saw it and changed it to a picture of him, with a middle finger. FML

#20686826
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17513) - you deserved it (44675)

On 05/26/2013 at 2:46am - work - by ChangoFett - United States (California)

Today, my parents yelled at me for 10 minutes without letting me get a word in edgeways for getting a 48 on my test. They took my phone, unplugged my internet, and took my car keys. They wouldn't listen no matter how many times I told them, "It was out of 50". It actually was. FML

#20692668
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61861) - you deserved it (3260)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by :) - United States



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