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Wednesday 22 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend had someone else dump me via text message. I knew it wasn't her because for once I wasn't being viciously insulted, and it wasn't written as if an illiterate baboon had taken a shit all over her keypad. I can't even feel happy about being rid of her. FML

#20684326
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43708) - you deserved it (6668)

On 05/24/2013 at 7:42pm - love - by yesguysgetabusedtoo (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML

#20674823
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46157) - you deserved it (6054)

On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42583) - you deserved it (3219)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML

#20692497
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59879) - you deserved it (6044)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:49am - money - by $$$ - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML

#20677176
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45032) - you deserved it (4269)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

#20682049
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46699) - you deserved it (4206)

On 05/23/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by eric4 (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I helped an elderly woman carry her suitcase down a flight of stairs. When I got to the bottom, a man tackled me to the ground thinking I was stealing the woman's luggage. As I lay in pain, he ran up the stairs to return the suitcase and the poor woman had to carry it down on her own. FML

#20686906
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56951) - you deserved it (3106)

On 05/26/2013 at 5:19am - misc - by gooddeedgonebad (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while at the beach, my son needed to pee. I told him to pee in the ocean. He took off his pants and peed from the beach to the water. FML

#20691712
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19656) - you deserved it (46655)

On 05/28/2013 at 7:01pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a bus ride home, listening to some music. The music stopped and I assumed my iPod's battery had run out. Turns out someone managed to steal it, leaving my earphones in. I didn't feel a thing. FML

#20688903
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51350) - you deserved it (11373)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:16am - misc - by stupid (woman) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML

#20675286
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51575) - you deserved it (4516)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by well okay then - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got a call from work stating that my employment was being terminated. This was after being suspended while they investigated my sexual harassment claim. Their reason for firing me: misuse of company time. Yes, I suppose reporting being sexually harassed is a huge waste of time. FML

#20681249
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50026) - you deserved it (4659)

On 05/23/2013 at 3:24am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

#20688959
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42556) - you deserved it (4853)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by docwinters (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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