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Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

#20665470
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48518) - you deserved it (3335)

On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting out of my car, when my new neighbor asked if I'd help him unhitch a trailer. On my way over, he said, "Oh never mind, I thought you were a boy." I am a boy. FML

#20677893
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49100) - you deserved it (6881)

On 05/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by Time for a haircut (man) - United States

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46866) - you deserved it (9898)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45326) - you deserved it (12917)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

#20670515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54868) - you deserved it (21047)

On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

#20671062
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38927) - you deserved it (5029)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

#20676306
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44511) - you deserved it (2843)

On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46902) - you deserved it (6228)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

Today, I beat my extremely competitive friend in a game of pool. He responded by breaking a pool stick over my head. FML

#20674823
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46158) - you deserved it (6054)

On 05/20/2013 at 2:32am - misc - by soreloser (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

#20663152
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45307) - you deserved it (4962)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42522) - you deserved it (3213)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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