Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47382) - you deserved it (2958)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

#20663501
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54356) - you deserved it (3336)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58456) - you deserved it (3168)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47288) - you deserved it (2723)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML

#20664979
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53244) - you deserved it (10449)

On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML

#20666438
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46516) - you deserved it (6017)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:31am - money - by astalkerindeed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

#20668938
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42497) - you deserved it (5248)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by jessinono (woman) - United States

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML

#20669324
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41947) - you deserved it (14397)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm - health - by sprainedankle - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

#20671163
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51487) - you deserved it (4357)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had my first job as a wedding planner. I'd spent a year making sure everything was right. After the wedding my friend comforted me by saying, "You had to have known it wasn't going to be perfect." I knew that it wouldn't be perfect, but I had expected the groom to at least show up. FML

#20676942
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42998) - you deserved it (2838)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:10am - work - by future walmart employee (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while on my way to an important interview, I was stopped and ticketed for speeding. The ticket made me 20 minutes late, but when I showed up, I was told they forgot to call and let me know that the woman I was supposed to meet with called in sick this morning. FML

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

#20661400
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39194) - you deserved it (2716)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I reconnected with my best friend from childhood, and after a tearful confession, found out that for most of my engagement to my husband, she was repeatedly connecting with his penis. FML

#20672990
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42460) - you deserved it (2831)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: