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Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50293) - you deserved it (9500)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my doorknob broke. While trying to impress my dad and show that I can fix things for girls, I somehow managed to lock myself in my room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When my dad finally heard my screams, he let me out. He had to take the whole door off. FML

#20662901
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36838) - you deserved it (19591)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML

#20671268
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45273) - you deserved it (3650)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by ineedayob (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my allergies started up with a vengeance. Yesterday I broke 4 ribs and fractured my sternum. Every time I sneeze, I swear I can feel the broken bones move around. FML

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

#20663096
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40182) - you deserved it (3426)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States

Today, I posted a Facebook status about how I hoped to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend. A couple of hours later, I saw a comment on it saying he'd never done anything bad enough to deserve that kind of torment. Thanks, mom. FML

#20664946
79 comments

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50193) - you deserved it (3155)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

#20663501
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56668) - you deserved it (3516)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: "Blow me." No thanks, dad. FML

#20661189
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50732) - you deserved it (5596)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my parents posted on Facebook that they were excited that my sister was pregnant and couldn't wait to be grandparents. Last week I told them that I, a 33-year-old happily married woman, was pregnant and they told me I was ruining my life and encouraged me to have an abortion. FML

#20674602
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61949) - you deserved it (3419)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by pregnant loser apparently (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML

#20677338
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46735) - you deserved it (3366)

On 05/21/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to go with my mom to the gynecologist to translate due to her broken English. As we were filling out papers and answering questions, the doctor asked some very personal questions. I now know everything about my mom's sex life. FML

#20678467
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63113) - you deserved it (6567)

On 05/21/2013 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by knowtoomuch - United States (Colorado)

Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML

#20668938
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43933) - you deserved it (5371)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by jessinono (woman) - United States



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