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Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51693) - you deserved it (13949)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

#20676306
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42989) - you deserved it (2743)

On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44728) - you deserved it (6002)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML

#20677848
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53959) - you deserved it (5146)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by mammasboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML

#20679725
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56675) - you deserved it (4764)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

#20663152
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42197) - you deserved it (4701)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41704) - you deserved it (3160)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time. I was really excited to introduce her to my parents, until we found my mother waving around a wooden sword, and my father trying to shove my sister into the dryer. FML

#20671220
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48251) - you deserved it (5093)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:06pm - love - by Mr_poole (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

#20670426
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49363) - you deserved it (3638)

On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML

#20677176
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41939) - you deserved it (4001)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

#20671062
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38175) - you deserved it (4968)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)



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