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Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML

#20679725
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56558) - you deserved it (4758)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a date with this guy I just met and we went to a fancy restaurant. Halfway through the meal, there was an awkward silence, and he decided to end it by saying "You know, you chew like a cow." FML

#20670019
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41860) - you deserved it (12154)

On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

#20662885
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46192) - you deserved it (3605)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States

Today, I received a slip through my door saying that the package I'd ordered couldn't be delivered today because no-one was home to sign for it. I got the slip just in time to watch the guy who put it through my letterbox get in his van, look me in the eye and drive off. FML

#20670426
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47116) - you deserved it (3472)

On 05/18/2013 at 5:41am - misc - by JACKxRAWR (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44648) - you deserved it (5985)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work, my boss made me go outside and wash people's cars for free. I work at Verizon. FML

#20677176
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41841) - you deserved it (3994)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:31am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I listened to my elderly bachelor neighbor moan, "Oh, kitty, kitty, kitty! Oh kitty!" for over half-an-hour before he wandered out on his balcony in wet, tight white underwear to water his plant. This is the fifth time this week, and I still don't know what on earth he's doing. FML

#20675279
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40763) - you deserved it (3092)

On 05/20/2013 at 11:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom scolded me and threatened to ground me for coming home past midnight. Normally, it wouldn't be unreasonable, except for the fact that I'm 24 years old, and that my parents live with me, in my own house. FML

#20677848
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51439) - you deserved it (4911)

On 05/21/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by mammasboy - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41919) - you deserved it (11904)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my house was damaged by a tornado. I called my mother to see if I could stay with her for a few days. Her response? "I warned you not to move in with a man. This is God's way of punishing you." I've been married to said man for almost a year now. FML

#20676306
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42888) - you deserved it (2736)

On 05/20/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by hotelbound - United States (Missouri)

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

#20663152
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42104) - you deserved it (4694)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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