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Wednesday 15 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38452) - you deserved it (16824)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the supermarket, a man collapsed. I gave CPR while the cashier called for help. During this, the other patrons were complaining that no other register was open. Once the ambulance arrived, I returned to my cart to find items removed and 40 dollars taken from my purse. FML

#20666447
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70586) - you deserved it (3935)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I thought the public restroom I was in was empty, so I started rapping. I realized the room was not empty when, recognizing the song, the person one stall over joined in. FML

#20677562
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (42315)

On 05/21/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by crappingrapping - United States

Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML

#20672246
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46709) - you deserved it (27077)

On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States

Today, I got a tattoo of the snake and staff medical symbol on my wrist. Now everyone keeps asking what illness I have; they think it's a medical bracelet substitute. FML

#20666917
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22192) - you deserved it (39080)

On 05/16/2013 at 11:01am - misc - by Calaraphea (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

#20665284
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67660) - you deserved it (4425)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

#20661511
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58401) - you deserved it (3335)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53442) - you deserved it (14326)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43562) - you deserved it (20869)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

#20666555
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45783) - you deserved it (5659)

On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML

#20676137
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41230) - you deserved it (6515)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

#20660609
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44886) - you deserved it (22291)

On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States



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