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Saturday 11 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML

#20661106
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47476) - you deserved it (2959)

On 05/13/2013 at 4:36pm - misc - by culodegrillo (woman) - Spain

Today, I was sitting next to an attractive man. Much to my surprise, he started stroking his foot against mine. I was happy at the flirting because I've been attracted to him forever, so I played along. That's when he stood up and explained he was trying to stretch out a cramp. FML

#20664979
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56211) - you deserved it (11180)

On 05/15/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Redfaced (woman) - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML

#20666438
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47776) - you deserved it (6167)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:31am - money - by astalkerindeed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML

#20671163
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52675) - you deserved it (4461)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:34pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend was visiting, and while in the bathroom, she clogged the toilet. Since there was no plunger in the room, she unclogged it with the only thing she could find: my mother's hairbrush. FML

#20660172
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41046) - you deserved it (4830)

On 05/13/2013 at 1:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 55 year-old mother faked a pregnancy because she was jealous of all the attention I've been getting since I had my twin boys. FML

#20663345
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48497) - you deserved it (2806)

On 05/14/2013 at 5:35pm - misc - by for the love of god (woman) - United States

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44725) - you deserved it (3338)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

#20660591
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50946) - you deserved it (2980)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML

#20654488
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46600) - you deserved it (4450)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by o___O" (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41243) - you deserved it (4199)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML

#20669324
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44328) - you deserved it (15092)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm - health - by sprainedankle - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, my friend told me she'd lost her notebook filled with crucial notes for our finals. She asked if she could borrow mine and copy my notes. She then lost my notebook too. FML

#20669510
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44121) - you deserved it (11155)

On 05/17/2013 at 6:28pm - misc - by well great. - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48124) - you deserved it (6363)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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