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Saturday 11 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... mah taanaga daughtar naarly burnad down our housa cuz sha wantad to taka ( artsy ) picturas with a lightar fir Instagram. FML

#20656774
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49560) - you deserved it (5757)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm - kids - by failure as a parent (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

TODAY, I WENT TO THERAPY. I STARTD TALKING ABOUT MAH CHILDHOOD AND MAH LIFE. BY THE TIME THE SESSION WAS OVER MAH THERAPIST WAS CRYING. BIG FAT FML

#20651461
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61759) - you deserved it (3945)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States

yesterday I was feeling down about bieng te only single person out of a group of eigt friends . Out of desperation I made up "Jonny" a ot fitness instructor wom I recently ooked up wit . Now "Jonny" and I ave been invited to a friends' nigt out . FML

#20659041
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18888) - you deserved it (69065)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom

Today, I went to go see granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47038) - you deserved it (6260)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

yesterday I lost my patience and asked the deadbeat I loaned money to last year to please pay up. His response: ( Blow me. ) No thanks , dad. FML

#20661189
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48596) - you deserved it (5418)

On 05/13/2013 at 5:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing mah sister recordd mah singing an set it as mah ringtone. My phone rang in class an everyone hered it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML

#20649622
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47782) - you deserved it (10085)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:00am - kids - by kprince - United States (California)

Today, mah doorknob broke. While trying to impress mah dad and show that I can fix things 4 grls, I somehow managed to lock myself in mah room, with the doorknob on the other side of the door. When mah dad finally heard mah screams, he let me out. He had to take thehole door off. FML

#20662901
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34054) - you deserved it (18449)

On 05/14/2013 at 1:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today , I turned 35. Because I'm still single , ma sister bougt me a cat to elp start ma ( inevitable collection. ) FML

#20647961
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45664) - you deserved it (5927)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss askd me to read through a document. looool I gave my feedback, saying it seemd like it had been written by an 8-year-old. Turns out it was in fact written by him. FML

#20649842
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42380) - you deserved it (15142)

On 05/08/2013 at 12:59pm - work - by anon_1996 - United Kingdom (Surrey)

2day I was laid off from mah job as a manager. After cleaning out mah office, I began clearing mah computer. I recieved an email from HR announcing a job position that opened up. Too looool bad it was for mah job. FML

#20651556
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43459) - you deserved it (3469)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today mah girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

#20654794
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58935) - you deserved it (3388)

On 05/10/2013 at 6:58pm - health - by Chia (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and startd peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zippd up and walkd away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." mega FML

#20663182
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42002) - you deserved it (4071)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers!! As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions fir his dish, he warned us to be ready fir the "typical reactions"!! Everyone teared up!! Meanwhile, I popped a boner!! So much fir typical!! FML

#20667353
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52052) - you deserved it (8943)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)



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