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Saturday 11 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was laid off from my job as a manager. After cleaning out my office, I began clearing my computer. I received an email from HR announcing a job position that opened up. Too bad it was for my job. FML

#20651556
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44768) - you deserved it (3569)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my bag got stolen with all of my belongings at the beach. After being forced to ask strangers for money, I then travelled home on the train for an hour, wearing only a bikini. FML

#20670402
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49404) - you deserved it (5053)

On 05/18/2013 at 4:57am - misc - by Chelsea - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

#20652571
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40694) - you deserved it (14424)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by drug testing - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

#20653784
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52808) - you deserved it (3332)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States

Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML

#20659041
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19593) - you deserved it (71116)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

#20662590
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32218) - you deserved it (23786)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I attended a cooking class with my co-workers. As the chef prepared to cut up a load of onions for his dish, he warned us to be ready for the "typical reactions". Everyone teared up. Meanwhile, I popped a boner. So much for typical. FML

#20667353
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53618) - you deserved it (9135)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I registered on an irritable bowel support group, unknowingly linking it to my Facebook wall. FML

#20666712
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39554) - you deserved it (10488)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I tried on a new perfume. When my boyfriend hugged me, he commented that I smelled like his mom. I don't know who was more surprised by the simultaneous bulge in his pants. FML

#20668540
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59937) - you deserved it (5080)

On 05/17/2013 at 3:21am - intimacy - by Uncomfortable (woman) -

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

#20647961
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47553) - you deserved it (6153)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

#20660573
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40755) - you deserved it (7026)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50410) - you deserved it (3579)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up the same way he always does, by pulling on my hair. Just to be playful, I pulled him down on top of me and kissed him. Turns out his brother thought it would be funny to wake people up the same way. FML

#20656960
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56244) - you deserved it (9357)

On 05/11/2013 at 7:04pm - love - by wrongguy - United States (North Carolina)



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