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Saturday 11 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

#20662590
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28673) - you deserved it (22130)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, and none of my friends speak Hindi. I went up to the counter and placed my order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a weird look and said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39792) - you deserved it (11270)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

#20671062
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33923) - you deserved it (4515)

On 05/18/2013 at 2:44pm - misc - by look at the fucking universe, lady (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44315) - you deserved it (3028)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

#20649461
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35919) - you deserved it (12994)

On 05/08/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by Sebastian20 (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

#20650676
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47367) - you deserved it (9077)

On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

#20653784
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48007) - you deserved it (2985)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

#20656774
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47229) - you deserved it (5515)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm - kids - by failure as a parent (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML

#20665722
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43697) - you deserved it (2615)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:43pm - health - by LordCrafte (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

#20667435
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54068) - you deserved it (5265)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML

#20659041
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17879) - you deserved it (65946)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom

Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML

#20651461
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57231) - you deserved it (3604)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:30am - health - by Screwed Up (man) - United States

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43553) - you deserved it (5889)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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