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Saturday 11 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

#20651917
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51381) - you deserved it (3097)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I agreed to help out my 4-year crush with his senior prank which is to pretend we are dating for 1 day to freak everyone out. Glad to know dating me is prank worthy. FML

#20658208
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62104) - you deserved it (9013)

On 05/12/2013 at 10:08am - love - by turdtonomor9 - United States

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

#20667310
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35724) - you deserved it (16171)

On 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm - health - by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML

#20650425
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25718) - you deserved it (51603)

On 05/08/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by Checkless chick - United States

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML

#20644845
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65965) - you deserved it (6198)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me. Apparently I'm not the "classy girl" he thought I was, and he's not comfortable "doing such vile things in public." I had tried to hold his hand. FML

#20664518
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53150) - you deserved it (4204)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

#20654425
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60669) - you deserved it (6185)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48858) - you deserved it (10792)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

#20647478
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42377) - you deserved it (7004)

On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML

#20655918
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74724) - you deserved it (5312)

On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML

#20647224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65361) - you deserved it (12808)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 7 years with another woman. He panicked and blamed it on the "long distance" and how we "never see each other". We've lived in the same neighbourhood since we were 5 years old, and we've lived together for the past four years. FML

#20649796
117 comments

Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML

#20652174
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60468) - you deserved it (4803)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)



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