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Saturday 11 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got a breast exam. I'd never had one before, but assumed it would be quick and easy. I had no idea how ticklish my boobs are. I burst out in uncontrollable laughter and kept instinctively jerking away. FML

#20649324
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35899) - you deserved it (4291)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:42am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML

#20668592
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44487) - you deserved it (2808)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:25am - misc - by Jololol - United States

Today, I was dancing in the passenger seat of my car with my family when a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down for help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

#20662599
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35941) - you deserved it (11471)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I got my third promotion at work in as many years. My husband congratulated me very briefly, before asking if this meant he no longer had to look for a job. FML

#20671146
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35919) - you deserved it (4448)

On 05/18/2013 at 3:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Guanajuato)

Today, I took a nap, and I had a dream that my ex-girlfriend got back together with me. I woke up in a great mood. When I went back to bed, I dreamed that she broke up with me, again. FML

#20670246
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38957) - you deserved it (4871)

On 05/18/2013 at 1:22am - love - by Sarsippius -

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

#20655778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40766) - you deserved it (5231)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:52am - misc - by GaveAnInchTakeAMile (woman) - United States

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

#20664501
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40874) - you deserved it (2328)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:21am - health - by the only sober one (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML

#20665269
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37109) - you deserved it (2718)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

#20644821
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63011) - you deserved it (5792)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:29am - kids - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML

#20668366
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39360) - you deserved it (3318)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by presente13 (woman) - United States

Today, I gave my boss a gift card as a late birthday present, since I wasn't in the office on his actual birthday. He accused me of trying to bribe my way to a promotion, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20660668
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34375) - you deserved it (3306)

On 05/13/2013 at 12:01pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47665) - you deserved it (10615)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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