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Wednesday 8 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would like to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML

#20651541
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53643) - you deserved it (3960)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

#20651616
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56262) - you deserved it (3860)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

#20649670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73546) - you deserved it (5453)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

#20654425
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60600) - you deserved it (6180)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

#20663152
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42195) - you deserved it (4701)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML

#20647629
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47720) - you deserved it (3822)

On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

#20657611
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52768) - you deserved it (3378)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by Baikal - Singapore

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46006) - you deserved it (9797)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML

#20658076
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59179) - you deserved it (3804)

On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)

Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML

#20665722
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48206) - you deserved it (2932)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:43pm - health - by LordCrafte (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML

#20647729
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49982) - you deserved it (5611)

On 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by hopelesscollegechick - United States (Alabama)

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

#20656177
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43935) - you deserved it (7509)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)



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