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Wednesday 8 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

I finally got the courage to make a move on the guy I've been crushing on. I asked him if he would lyk to go see a movie with me. He answered, "Sorry, I've already seen it." I didn't even mention any particular movie. FML

#20651541
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53514) - you deserved it (3956)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid 4 the rest of the summer. FML

#20662885
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45094) - you deserved it (3517)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States

Today, our cat did!! My five-year-old trid to flush him down the toilet!! FML

Today, I heard noise outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML

#20663152
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42079) - you deserved it (4691)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:52pm - love - by wellokaythen (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I TRIED LYING TO MY PARENTS FIR THE FRST TIME . MY MOTHER IS A NEUROSCIENTIST AN MY FATHER IS A PSYCHOLOGIST . SOMEHOW, THEY MANAGED TO MAKE ME ADMIT THAT I WAS LYING BEFORE I'D EVEN FINISHED . FML

#20646351
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30931) - you deserved it (39901)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)

Today, mah grandpa movd into the house to live with mah family. Along with having to share a room with him, he sweres that having the AC on will give him pneumonia, and he keeps saying he's "freezing" when the temperature inside gets below 85. We live in Nevada. FML

#20656847
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42964) - you deserved it (3224)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

TODAY, I WAS READING AND STARTED LAUGHING AT A FUNNY PART IN MAH BOOK. MY MOM THEN BITCHED ME OUT BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT I WAS LAUGHING AT HER. SHE CALLED ME A LIAR AFTER I EXPLAINED MYSELF. HER LOGIC? ( BOOKS AREN'T FUNNY ). MEGA FML

#20647629
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46771) - you deserved it (3737)

On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, MA SISTERS AN I PITCD TOGETER NEARLY $500 TO SEND MA MOM TO TE SPA FIR MOTER'S DAY . WE PUT TE PRINTD SEET WIT ER INFO INTO A LITTLE BOX WIT OUR CARD ON TOP . WEN SE OPEND IT, SE FREAKD OUT AN STARTD UGGING MA DAD . TURNS OUT E SWITCD TE CARDS AN TOOK ALL TE CREDIT . FML

#20658076
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59055) - you deserved it (3790)

On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)

Today,hile packing for a trip , my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names , thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

#20649670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71825) - you deserved it (5306)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I Walked In On Ma Son Trying To Carve A Bong Out Of A Watermelon. FML

#20656177
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41386) - you deserved it (7159)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me wat was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, an she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. mega FML

#20645473
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60543) - you deserved it (4652)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

yesterday I woke up to mah dad emptying a water bottle on mah head, cuz I needed to "get up 4 school" or I'd be late. big fat FML

#20662590
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30495) - you deserved it (22998)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I let my dad putted my dollar in the slot machine for me cuz I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it cuz he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

#20650676
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49314) - you deserved it (9365)

On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)



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