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Saturday 4 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20640490
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41709) - you deserved it (15463)

On 05/04/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by Tickettoride (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I tried channeling Mr. Miyagi by catching a fly with my bare hands. It turned out to be a wasp. FML

#20643732
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20254) - you deserved it (46010)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:30pm - misc - by FML136969 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

#20636386
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37037) - you deserved it (16973)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was forced to work with someone I absolutely hate. I then found myself starting to like him, until he shot me in the forehead with a stapler gun. FML

#20639773
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49923) - you deserved it (4513)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:30pm - work - by annoyedgirl - United States (Washington)

Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML

#20647234
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50537) - you deserved it (7778)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:45am - love - by serialkillingex (man) - Netherlands

Today, I started the bleaching treatments that my dentist recommended. Now, my two front teeth have ultra white spots, the rest of my teeth are still yellow and the roof of my mouth is burned. FML

#20653345
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40744) - you deserved it (8018)

On 05/09/2013 at 11:11pm - health - by ZydecosGirl - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to be rushed to the hospital when I started sneezing uncontrollably and got a huge rash. It turns out I'm highly allergic to a chemical in most cleaning supplies. Great. I just got a job as a house cleaner for a very rich family. FML

#20632205
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44824) - you deserved it (2818)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:04am - health - by ava_henryy - United States (Washington)

Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML

#20647651
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43378) - you deserved it (12787)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm - animals - by hitchcock2013 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML

#20656774
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51775) - you deserved it (6013)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:19pm - kids - by failure as a parent (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

#20657087
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28552) - you deserved it (38176)

On 05/11/2013 at 8:07pm - misc - by joeidk (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dog became scared of his own food bowl. He now barks for ages every time he sees it. FML

#20629727
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38039) - you deserved it (3173)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's my wedding day. I have a cold sore that makes me look like The Joker. Make-up won't cover it and the emergency medicine my doctor gave me only irritates it more. My future husband asks, "Why so serious?" and laughs whenever he sees me. Fantastic. FML

#20633099
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44252) - you deserved it (3750)

On 04/30/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by sharibaby (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

#20649461
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42025) - you deserved it (15039)

On 05/08/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by Sebastian20 (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)



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