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Saturday 4 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position, and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38701) - you deserved it (8304)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

#20630400
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49694) - you deserved it (3388)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML

#20632758
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44217) - you deserved it (2816)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML

#20652174
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52727) - you deserved it (3874)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, through sheer luck, I got talking to an actor from the Harry Potter films who I've had a crush on since I was about ten. I tried to play it cool, and pretend I didn't know who he was. Then my phone rang, with the Harry Potter theme tune. FML

#20633236
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20051) - you deserved it (37388)

On 04/30/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by itsellie27 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41943) - you deserved it (9242)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, I had my college graduation ceremony. As I was walking across the stage, some asshat, in front of over 55,000 students and staff, brazenly ran across the stage, snatched my diploma up out of the president's hand, and ran off. FML

#20651616
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52881) - you deserved it (3594)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:11am - misc - by Uwrongfodat (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my nose started running while in bed with my boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with my arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck, his shirt, and his silk sheets. FML

#20647224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57733) - you deserved it (10790)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

#20630234
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39334) - you deserved it (3301)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

#20634162
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40827) - you deserved it (10481)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had a giant Scantron test. After putting 10 answers, I noticed every single answer was A. I got freaked out and started putting random answers. Turns out every answer on the test was A. I failed. FML

#20636525
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25956) - you deserved it (46899)

On 05/02/2013 at 7:02am - work - by FireoftheFuture - United States

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

#20638691
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24719) - you deserved it (65578)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML

#20654383
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44546) - you deserved it (3150)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:01pm - love - by paintfarts1976 (woman) - Ireland (Westmeath)



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