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Saturday 4 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML

#20642261
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55116) - you deserved it (10616)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend. Being the mature one, I went up to her and said, "Hey, how's it going?" She maced me and kept walking. FML

#20644793
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47836) - you deserved it (10527)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by wat_dafuq_bro (man) -

Today, my mom asked me what a MILF is. Apparently that's her nickname at work. FML

#20634708
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53383) - you deserved it (4141)

On 05/01/2013 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw my ex husband walking with his very beautiful, very pregnant wife. We divorced 7 months ago because he told me he was gay. FML

#20655918
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72992) - you deserved it (5196)

On 05/11/2013 at 9:32am - misc - by stephscort - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

#20630400
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51952) - you deserved it (3545)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49469) - you deserved it (5286)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

#20651917
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50236) - you deserved it (3008)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML

#20632758
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47669) - you deserved it (3104)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

#20638777
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66607) - you deserved it (8096)

On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

#20638691
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26657) - you deserved it (69919)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML

#20644845
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63083) - you deserved it (5940)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

#20647478
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42319) - you deserved it (6997)

On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)



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