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Saturday 4 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl and ask her about it. The girl denied it and said she didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me, called me a liar and punched me in the face. FML

#20629579
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26079) - you deserved it (61694)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States

Today, my former fiancée, who I stopped seeing 5 months ago, married another guy. She wore the dress that I'd purchased for our would-be wedding. FML

#20630309
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60456) - you deserved it (5547)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

#20630400
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55842) - you deserved it (3875)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53015) - you deserved it (5616)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, my ex-wife, whom I divorced just 8 months ago, asked me to attend her wedding, because "it would mean a lot" to her. She's marrying the man she cheated on me with. FML

#20651917
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52396) - you deserved it (3153)

On 05/09/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my guidance counselor told me that I'll have to join my school's special education needs sector. This is because I can't attend school properly due to chronic issues with severe pain. So much for my 3.9 GPA and being in the top 5% of my class. FML

#20632758
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49561) - you deserved it (3234)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

#20638691
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27419) - you deserved it (71500)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, the girl that I've been madly in love with was demanding I tell her who I liked. I told her no, I should just keep it a secret, but she demanded I tell her. After I told her, the only response I got was, "You're right. You should have kept that a secret." FML

#20644845
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66892) - you deserved it (6280)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:49am - love - by walkingdead_1029 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML

#20642261
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58581) - you deserved it (11319)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML

#20654425
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61505) - you deserved it (6262)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

#20630234
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45021) - you deserved it (3845)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my husband angrily accused me of cheating on him. It turns out he thinks that because I've been spending time with my brother recently, the two of us must be having some kind of incestuous affair. FML

#20654383
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53249) - you deserved it (4090)

On 05/10/2013 at 3:01pm - love - by paintfarts1976 (woman) - Ireland (Westmeath)

Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML



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