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Saturday 4 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML

#20633909
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44592) - you deserved it (3622)

On 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm - misc - by creepycrawley247 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned my husband has what he calls "grumpy wife sex" specifically to cheer me up. I don't know if I'm more annoyed that he casually mentioned it after we've been together for 10 years, or that it actually works. FML

#20636797
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47412) - you deserved it (13932)

On 05/02/2013 at 11:59am - intimacy - by MommaAnnie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while driving my grandma home from a family dinner, I had to pull into a gas station, because my tank was almost empty. She became convinced that someone would kidnap her while I went to pay, and eventually threatened to blow us up by tossing her lighter at the gas pumps. FML

#20648219
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42497) - you deserved it (3157)

On 05/07/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by fuckingjesusgran (man) - Bosnia and Herzegovina (Federation of Bosnia and Herzego)

Today, while at the supermarket, a complete stranger ran up to me, got down on his knee and confessed his love for me. He was obviously mentally unstable, so I gently declined. He started crying very loudly in front of everyone. I still don't have a clue who he was. FML

#20654488
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46594) - you deserved it (4450)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:11pm - misc - by o___O" (woman) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

#20639737
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59379) - you deserved it (3410)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48122) - you deserved it (6363)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML

#20655587
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42890) - you deserved it (7185)

On 05/11/2013 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend found a letter I'd written to myself for moral support while we were broken up, in which I explained why we would never work out. Apparently I made a convincing argument. FML

#20645173
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36003) - you deserved it (35338)

On 05/06/2013 at 10:24am - love - by Alone (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML

#20652046
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48227) - you deserved it (2887)

On 05/09/2013 at 1:44pm - kids - by rachelllynne - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I found out I have something in common with three other girls. We all have the same boyfriend. FML

#20655447
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61398) - you deserved it (5530)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Bridget - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

#20631829
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35094) - you deserved it (7413)

On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to go buy diaper rash cream. For myself. FML

#20634292
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37045) - you deserved it (7175)

On 05/01/2013 at 2:40am - health - by ChangMu - United States (Iowa)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

#20643910
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50012) - you deserved it (6647)

On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)



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