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Saturday 27 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

#20618145
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41581) - you deserved it (16080)

On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my psycho and now ex-girlfriend accused me of cheating on her with my own mother. FML

#20625307
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56982) - you deserved it (3807)

On 04/27/2013 at 2:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML

#20639297
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52888) - you deserved it (5081)

On 05/03/2013 at 5:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42311) - you deserved it (2897)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML

#20630276
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48009) - you deserved it (12125)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my boss fired me for acting "inappropriately" at work. I gave him a hug. He's my dad. FML

#20638777
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67963) - you deserved it (8261)

On 05/03/2013 at 11:00am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML

#20620985
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46927) - you deserved it (2719)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML

#20625530
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52522) - you deserved it (3340)

On 04/27/2013 at 4:23pm - health - by stuckwithafamilyofcunts (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

#20630234
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44316) - you deserved it (3793)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML

#20639678
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40590) - you deserved it (5527)

On 05/03/2013 at 8:39pm - misc - by DeActivated (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was admitted to the hospital for chronic constipation. I have to share a room with two other girls who are also having bowel problems. We're all on strong laxatives, and there's apparently only one bathroom in this place. FML

#20613283
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49833) - you deserved it (3232)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:10pm - health - by shatMyself - United States

Today, I was fired on my second day of work after a year and a half of unemployment. Apparently, my "tendency to solve problems instead of just accepting them made the other workers uneasy". FML

#20617597
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51798) - you deserved it (3455)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - work - by anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, I decided to be playful and leave my girlfriend flowers and chocolates from an "Anonymous Admirer". She immediately dumped me, saying she couldn't be with someone who "isn't even as romantic as a stranger". Yep, I think I just got dumped for myself. FML

#20616571
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55496) - you deserved it (7898)

On 04/23/2013 at 7:22pm - love - by BestBF - United States (Nebraska)



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