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Saturday 27 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, six weeks before my wedding, my mother decided to claim that she never agreed on paying for it and that she doesn't think she will. Now I have six weeks to scavenge enough cash for the wedding she planned in the first place. FML

#20626669
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51585) - you deserved it (4206)

On 04/28/2013 at 12:29am - money - by need_cash_now (man) - United States

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

#20632227
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41278) - you deserved it (8691)

On 04/30/2013 at 4:50am - love - by Porter_Robinson (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

#20638691
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26745) - you deserved it (70177)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by acnecream - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML

#20641584
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51786) - you deserved it (3196)

On 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML

#20628506
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22296) - you deserved it (35054)

On 04/28/2013 at 7:40pm - work - by AbhorrentApplication (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, from the balcony of my apartment, I watched helplessly as a teen came along and peed through my car's open window. FML

#20634162
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44163) - you deserved it (11498)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

#20638629
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58351) - you deserved it (7987)

On 05/03/2013 at 8:13am - intimacy - by Who1s269 (man) - United States

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person and I'm super pumped up to finally get off my lazy butt and lose some weight. Locking myself in my room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

#20640437
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47015) - you deserved it (11570)

On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML

#20615528
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44879) - you deserved it (6017)

On 04/23/2013 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57087) - you deserved it (12804)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML

#20621829
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46205) - you deserved it (3739)

On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to the emergency room with my sister, due to involuntary muscle spasms she was having. They gave her a muscle relaxer which caused her to be extremely tired and loopy. She decided to start singing loudly with a song she made up about butt fucking. FML

#20624720
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52053) - you deserved it (4887)

On 04/27/2013 at 8:42am - health - by seekerglow176 - United States (Massachusetts)



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