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Sunday 21 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML

#20605834
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45477) - you deserved it (5308)

On 04/19/2013 at 7:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML

#20609750
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50140) - you deserved it (5414)

On 04/21/2013 at 9:33am - love - by jerk_ex_boyfriend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

#20618145
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40356) - you deserved it (15664)

On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48430) - you deserved it (7993)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

#20622946
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44110) - you deserved it (6947)

On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, six weeks before my wedding, my mother decided to claim that she never agreed on paying for it and that she doesn't think she will. Now I have six weeks to scavenge enough cash for the wedding she planned in the first place. FML

#20626669
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46504) - you deserved it (3726)

On 04/28/2013 at 12:29am - money - by need_cash_now (man) - United States

Today, my ten-year-old sister had to write out my job application because no one can read my terrible handwriting. FML

#20628506
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21419) - you deserved it (33855)

On 04/28/2013 at 7:40pm - work - by AbhorrentApplication (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71570) - you deserved it (8701)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41548) - you deserved it (8508)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55397) - you deserved it (12350)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML

#20621829
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42869) - you deserved it (3486)

On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML

#20595377
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53023) - you deserved it (6027)

On 04/15/2013 at 10:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized how tiny my apartment is, when I was able to vacuum from bedroom to bathroom through the living room without switching the power outlet from the one in the kitchen. I pay a fortune to live in this shoebox. FML

#20608013
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39761) - you deserved it (9150)

On 04/20/2013 at 4:22pm - money - by citylife - United States



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