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Sunday 21 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

#20598610
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61446) - you deserved it (5930)

On 04/17/2013 at 2:14am - love - by rawdoglyfe69 - United States (Montana)

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

#20622946
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49099) - you deserved it (7569)

On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43663) - you deserved it (3004)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50116) - you deserved it (9792)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

#20625733
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41548) - you deserved it (25153)

On 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm - work - by naps aren't what they used to be (man) - United States

Today, six weeks before my wedding, my mother decided to claim that she never agreed on paying for it and that she doesn't think she will. Now I have six weeks to scavenge enough cash for the wedding she planned in the first place. FML

#20626669
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52452) - you deserved it (4269)

On 04/28/2013 at 12:29am - money - by need_cash_now (man) - United States

Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML

#20615528
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46468) - you deserved it (6198)

On 04/23/2013 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML

#20605834
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51283) - you deserved it (5858)

On 04/19/2013 at 7:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Kronobergs Lan)

Today, my girlfriend from high school contacted me, telling me we should hang out some time; I casually agreed. Two hours later she's on my doorstep in tears, wanting me to take her back. She's married with kids. I live four states away and haven't a clue how she found out where I live. FML

#20611227
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59277) - you deserved it (3991)

On 04/21/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80314) - you deserved it (9634)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML

#20609750
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55739) - you deserved it (5970)

On 04/21/2013 at 9:33am - love - by jerk_ex_boyfriend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML

#20595162
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59775) - you deserved it (5605)

On 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm - kids - by Mimi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML

#20592767
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57426) - you deserved it (10974)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:04am - intimacy - by twinArmageddon2 - United States (California)



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