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Wednesday 17 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML

#20612321
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39978) - you deserved it (6432)

On 04/22/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by 'creep' - United States (Colorado)

Today, working in customer support, I received a call from a woman who'd just been robbed. My supervisor asked what was taking so long; I told him that she was hysterical. He took my phone and told her to call back when she had her "shit together", then hung up. I take orders from this man. FML

#20595880
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38427) - you deserved it (3427)

On 04/16/2013 at 6:50am - work - by no compassion - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML

#20614650
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30119) - you deserved it (17352)

On 04/22/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by KyngJulian - United States

Today, I just remembered that I changed my Gmail display name to "Rice Ball" out of privacy-paranoia a while back. I've been using this same email to apply to several professional jobs. FML

#20592754
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15054) - you deserved it (34128)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by geeshock1987 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to a woman why she wasn't allowed to squeeze all the contents of the sample lotion bottle into her own bottle. She threw a fit, and dumped the whole bottle on my head. FML

#20601226
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40789) - you deserved it (3576)

On 04/18/2013 at 12:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

#20593500
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37816) - you deserved it (7910)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

#20596320
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36250) - you deserved it (4969)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)

Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML

#20600031
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36143) - you deserved it (3770)

On 04/17/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by the attention seeker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, someone at my workplace yelled at me and filed a complaint for staring at them too often. I'm a lifeguard. FML

#20604138
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38616) - you deserved it (3665)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:07am - work - by lamelifeguard - United States (Colorado)

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

#20609406
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21929) - you deserved it (41136)

On 04/21/2013 at 2:20am - misc - by Human fly - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a girl was telling me how she was very stressed over her parents' divorce and moving away to another part of the state. While I was listening, I started choking on my saliva. She thought I was laughing. She hasn't spoken to me since. FML

#20601828
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40038) - you deserved it (6539)

On 04/18/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by notlaughing (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the nasty rash on my arms. He concluded that I'm allergic to beer and the rash will go away if I stay away from it. I'm a bartender. FML

#20592891
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47102) - you deserved it (3460)

On 04/15/2013 at 3:31am - work - by BarBacked (woman) - United States



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