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Wednesday 10 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at school, I saw the guy I like at his locker. I decided to run up from behind and surprise him. I ended up accidentally slamming his locker on his fingers. FML

#20587958
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40707) - you deserved it (42321)

On 04/13/2013 at 11:52am - love - by saxophone911 - United States

Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML

#20588714
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44954) - you deserved it (3896)

On 04/13/2013 at 7:49pm - misc - by typical - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML

#20599149
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41225) - you deserved it (7694)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex; I know that some women are great multitaskers, but I'm guessing it was a bad sign when she started to go over the shopping list. FML

#20585940
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46925) - you deserved it (13677)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:05am - intimacy - by Fml (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

#20580049
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43097) - you deserved it (6427)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by badparent (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I just remembered that I changed my Gmail display name to "Rice Ball" out of privacy-paranoia a while back. I've been using this same email to apply to several professional jobs. FML

#20592754
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16810) - you deserved it (37467)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by geeshock1987 (man) - United States (California)

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

#20593500
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40632) - you deserved it (8444)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by Reno - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

#20580301
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31769) - you deserved it (5178)

On 04/08/2013 at 4:30am - work - by Anonymous -

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

#20596320
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42279) - you deserved it (5819)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:17pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the nasty rash on my arms. He concluded that I'm allergic to beer and the rash will go away if I stay away from it. I'm a bartender. FML

#20592891
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51813) - you deserved it (3884)

On 04/15/2013 at 3:31am - work - by BarBacked (woman) - United States

Today my mother met my in-laws for the first time. She had been an alcoholic and had us sent to foster care 15 years ago. My husband told his parents this behind my back a while ago. When they asked her about it, she denied everything. His entire family now thinks I lie for attention. FML

#20600031
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39452) - you deserved it (4047)

On 04/17/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by the attention seeker (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

#20585643
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38434) - you deserved it (9226)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)

Today, when I was talking to my younger brother, he suddenly said "Oh, I was supposed to tell you that there's this girl who has a huge crush on you!" I asked who and he answered, "I totally forgot her name, that was like 2 months ago." FML

#20589493
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50511) - you deserved it (3987)

On 04/14/2013 at 3:28am - love - by MissedTheBoat (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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