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Wednesday 10 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

#20600192
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56742) - you deserved it (4820)

On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to sell over $400 worth of china at a flea market. I barely got paid enough to refill my gas tank. FML

#20588597
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34503) - you deserved it (7454)

On 04/13/2013 at 6:53pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He wants us to stay friends, though, so he can continue to use my coffee maker. FML

#20593450
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44706) - you deserved it (4425)

On 04/15/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend once again that the dry skin she picks off her feet belong in the trash, not on our coffee table. FML

#20582191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37325) - you deserved it (4127)

On 04/09/2013 at 1:58pm - misc - by FootFlakes (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel. One of my tasks is to clean out the pool robot. While trying to pull it up, I got pulled in. I had to hide naked in the laundry room for an hour while I put my uniform through the dryer. FML

#20580594
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32845) - you deserved it (3884)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:56pm - work - by soakedga - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML

#20591828
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39843) - you deserved it (5720)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:11pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40014) - you deserved it (3601)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)

Today, my girlfriend's parents were out of town, so I stayed the night, hoping for some fun. Somehow, we started talking about conspiracy theories, and she spent the next half hour ranting at me about how Osama bin Laden is really still alive. FML

#20586667
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44933) - you deserved it (14299)

On 04/12/2013 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by InDisbelief (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML

#20597317
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34178) - you deserved it (3556)

On 04/16/2013 at 7:13pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

#20580770
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14629) - you deserved it (36196)

On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library for most of the night so that my roommate and his friends would believe that I have a social life. FML

#20585552
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35660) - you deserved it (18644)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by InNeedOfFriends (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the break room with my colleagues and our awful boss. As ever, he was talking trash, convinced that his jokes were actually funny. The window was open, and it was chilly. As he walked by it, I mangled my words and said, "Cedric, could you please shut your mouth?" FML

#20581032
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29073) - you deserved it (7330) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/08/2013 at 5:10pm - misc - by La Guigne - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, it's my birthday. My family put a bouquet of balloons outside my room for me to find when I woke up. I walked out of my room, saw the balloons, screamed, and fell down the stairs. FML

#20587655
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39977) - you deserved it (22706)

On 04/13/2013 at 5:21am - misc - by really? - United States



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