Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 10 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML

#20581005
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44011) - you deserved it (2370)

On 04/08/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

#20583902
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51360) - you deserved it (5796)

On 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm - love - by drama king? (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML

#20595162
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59775) - you deserved it (5606)

On 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm - kids - by Mimi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML

#20592767
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57614) - you deserved it (11012)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:04am - intimacy - by twinArmageddon2 - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML

#20595377
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61420) - you deserved it (6869)

On 04/15/2013 at 10:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML

#20596513
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61740) - you deserved it (5049)

On 04/16/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by fucklife - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML

#20583566
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39939) - you deserved it (18015)

On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

#20586452
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51229) - you deserved it (5747)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

#20580464
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34004) - you deserved it (3302)

On 04/08/2013 at 10:08am - work - by save the koalas? uhh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

#20584796
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41606) - you deserved it (18892)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML

#20591068
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44980) - you deserved it (4108)

On 04/14/2013 at 6:20pm - health - by danman (man) - United States

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70473) - you deserved it (13591)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: