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Wednesday 10 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51948) - you deserved it (14447)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend said he felt like eating icing. So I baked him cupcakes, put icing on them and decorated them. When I handed them to him, he picked off the decoration, licked the icing and handed the cupcake back to me, saying, "I told you that's all I wanted." FML

#20592650
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26467) - you deserved it (51627)

On 04/15/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Cupcakes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML

#20583013
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56944) - you deserved it (12818)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my grandmother to hem my prom dress for me. I'm her oldest granddaughter so I thought she'd be happy to do it. She said no. Her occupation is a seamstress. FML

#20589845
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45538) - you deserved it (7686)

On 04/14/2013 at 10:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML

#20582400
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35713) - you deserved it (7119)

On 04/09/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by nice education you've got there (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43443) - you deserved it (20555)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML

#20599244
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53608) - you deserved it (8567)

On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66194) - you deserved it (5712)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML

#20586964
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36918) - you deserved it (13717)

On 04/12/2013 at 7:57pm - misc - by SoreNips (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML

#20588922
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50121) - you deserved it (8118)

On 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

#20598610
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61518) - you deserved it (5934)

On 04/17/2013 at 2:14am - love - by rawdoglyfe69 - United States (Montana)

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

#20584487
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42709) - you deserved it (15778)

On 04/11/2013 at 12:53am - love - by flowerging (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

#20583515
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53749) - you deserved it (8545)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States



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