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Wednesday 10 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57490) - you deserved it (19400)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML

#20584129
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40780) - you deserved it (10403)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

Today, I was about to break up with my psycho girlfriend. As I sat her down, she told me she wanted to show me something. She then took off her shirt to reveal my name tattooed across her chest. FML

#20595753
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63763) - you deserved it (6817)

On 04/16/2013 at 3:23am - love - by guess I'm stuck - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML

#20585229
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51824) - you deserved it (3488)

On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I uploaded a cute photo of my boyfriend and me on Facebook. Ten minutes later, his friend commented: "Dude! You're supposed to capture the Snorlax, not date it!" FML

#20587403
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46050) - you deserved it (13317)

On 04/13/2013 at 12:25am - love - by Snorlax (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to a library to return a book that I've had for years. After a heated discussion with the librarian, not only did she charge me over a hundred dollars for the book, she also called the cops to escort me out. FML

#20595392
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20405) - you deserved it (37765)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:01am - money - by LoLWut?? nd Why?? - United States

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

#20593773
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67400) - you deserved it (5919)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)

Today, my halitosis was so bad that when I blew onto my solution in chemistry class, it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23924) - you deserved it (7118) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my daughter has been stuffing my push-up bras and lipstick into her backpack, putting them on at school, and taking them off before she gets home. She's 9. The only reason I found out is because her teacher reported me to social services. FML

#20582376
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44063) - you deserved it (3537)

On 04/09/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was riding a new horse when a lawnmower starting up spooked her. She jumped straight up in the air and I landed directly on the saddle horn. I can't walk or feel anything between my legs. FML

#20583228
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32956) - you deserved it (3176)

On 04/10/2013 at 5:06am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the park unsuccessfully trying to take a selfie. A stranger walked up to me and offered to take the picture for me. I agreed and gave him my phone. He took it and ran off. FML

#20595412
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28432) - you deserved it (52763)

On 04/16/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by no selfie for me - United States (California)

Today, my English teacher used the word "interpretate" again. This isn't the only mistake she's made though; I've been so frustrated that I've started a list of them. It's over a page long. I'm meant to be learning things from this woman. FML

#20582580
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30785) - you deserved it (3539)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:09pm - work - by Annoyed Student - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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Thursday 10 April 2014

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