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Monday 8 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I Found Out That Yale Had Actually Accepted Me Seventeen Years Ago. My Mother Apparently Burned Mah Acceptance Package And Letter Because She Didn't Want Me To Upstage Her UChicago Degree. FML

Today my boyfriend of 2 weeks said tat e was going to cook me dinner. After waiting 4 te frozen pizza tat e decided to make 4 me to be completely cooked e said ( O I ate tis part ) reaced into te oven wit is bare ands and took out te pizza allile screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50697) - you deserved it (10880)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing fir a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, ( I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood. ) FML

#20581880
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68787) - you deserved it (10920)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, mah sister went into a blind rage at me fir "upstaging" looool her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same . My husband an I have been trying fir two years . She's in high school an doesn't even know who the father is . FML

#20590768
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69473) - you deserved it (3376)

On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, I played Call of Duty wit ma new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged tat a grl beat im. It resulted in im souting at me, claiming tat since I'm Muslim, I must be part of te Taliban,ic would explain ma gaming skills. FML

#20584680
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44688) - you deserved it (8403)

On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today... I was dying mah hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn mah hair a shade or two lighter... but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple.

Today, I went over to mah boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his wierd attitude, he respondd with, ( This isn't working; I'm in love with mah sister. ) FML

#20592364
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66149) - you deserved it (4045)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States

Today, my 25 year old brother dumpd all my underwear into the fireplace fir interrupting him while he was playing WoW . mega FML

#20593993
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42432) - you deserved it (11571)

On 04/15/2013 at 4:18pm - misc - by Kutakito (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today... I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML

#20591599
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43130) - you deserved it (13262) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by NiquetChrome (woman) - France

Today, I was screamed at and told that I was denying someone's "second amendment" by not letting him through with a gun. I work at the border; he was trying to enter Canada. This is not the first time, and it probably won't be the last. FML

#20586134
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40212) - you deserved it (4870)

On 04/12/2013 at 6:23am - work - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I dressed up as Batman fir a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker fir the same convention. FML

#20587443
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60828) - you deserved it (20285)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

TODAY, AT WORK AS A GYNECOLOGIST, I CALLED IN MAH LAST PATIENT OF THE DAY . AS SOON AS I TOOK A PEEK, I NOTICED THAT SHE HAD STUCK GOOGLY-EYES ABOVE HER VAGINA . SHE TOLD ME WITH A STRAIGHT FACE NOT TO BE AFRAID, CUZ ( SHE DOESN'T BITE . ) FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47490) - you deserved it (4891)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today , as I walked out of the local store , I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb , crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier , thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it , she yelled , "PEDOPHILE!" , punched me in the balls , and then ran away screaming. fat FML

#20584129
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44573) - you deserved it (11474)

On 04/10/2013 at 8:45pm - kids - by Me - United States (California)



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