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Sunday 2 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML

#20182568
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25922) - you deserved it (2193)

On 11/28/2012 at 12:43pm - health - by williebees - United States (Texas)

Today, I was mugged at gunpoint by a senior citizen. She now has a lousy $20, and I probably have PTSD. FML

#20182765
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18534) - you deserved it (2175)

On 11/28/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by stillshakinggd (man) - United States

Today my boyfriend and my best friend had a very lengthy, detailed conversation about Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit, of which I know nothing about. Once they stopped, I looked at him and smiled, and he responded with, "Why can't you be more like her?" FML

#20183421
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29437) - you deserved it (8448)

On 11/28/2012 at 11:33pm - love - by JStein (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 5 kids were singing their favorite Christmas carols in the van, each trying to sing louder than the others. It would have probably sounded better if they were all singing the same one. FML

#20183806
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22988) - you deserved it (4211)

On 11/29/2012 at 9:22am - kids - by Dave (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22692) - you deserved it (1599)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28890) - you deserved it (2518)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

#20186585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28721) - you deserved it (2859)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend got into the Christmas cheer while giving me a hand job, smashing my nuts with her palm in time to her humming of Jingle Bells. FML

#20188363
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27337) - you deserved it (4246)

On 12/02/2012 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by fineididntwantkidsanyway (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML

#20190789
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30487) - you deserved it (6405)

On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

#20181011
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25185) - you deserved it (2138)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

#20193528
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26296) - you deserved it (4352)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:50am - love - by FMyEx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36599) - you deserved it (3444)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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