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Friday 16 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat... he also got inside the car an sat next to my date... pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time... an walked me back to the house. My mom laughed an gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

Today... I called Costco to ask them not to renew mah membership because of financial problems. The man on the phone spent 30 minute telling me y I'm a fool to leave and I ended up with a renewed $55 membership and 25 minute over mah minute allowance. FML

2day I was severely chewed out by mah boss because, looool according to him, I look down on him too often!! I'm 6ft5!! FML

#20162604
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23238) - you deserved it (1575) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/13/2012 at 4:23pm - work - by makiju - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that no matter how hot and exhausted you are, bieng blasted in the face with a high pressure hose is always more painful than refreshing. FML

#20165112
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16099) - you deserved it (9398)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

YASTARDAY, MA CAT WANT INTO LABOR!! TIS IS SURPRISING SINCA 6 YAARS AGO, WA PAID TO AVA AR SPAYAD!! FML

#20174337
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23253) - you deserved it (1661)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I putted on a shrt that said ( skilled in every position. ) My boyfriend took one look an said, ( since when? ) mega FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9787) - you deserved it (27244)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, ex-girlfriend was supposd to pick up her things. I decidd to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on door. They'd come to get ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23716) - you deserved it (3097)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

TADAY I HAD A SEX DREAM, WHICH I INTERRUPTED BY HAVING AN OCD-INDUCED PANIC ATTACK BECAUSE APPARENTLY WE WEREN'T USING PROTECTION. MY BRAIN WON'T EVEN LET ME ENJOY THE FANTASY ACTION I GET IN MY SLEEP. FML

#20171880
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30340) - you deserved it (3301)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Dead_Fox (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today... whilst at a red light in car... a homeless man with a spray bottle an a dirty rag came over to clean windows. He started with the driver's window... which was wide open... an whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously lyk urine. FML

#20172058
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24871) - you deserved it (1953)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:54am - misc - by WamBamSam - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

2day my boss asked me if I ad any special plans fir Cristmas. After I told im I was planning a trip to Canada, e snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at te office." real FML

#20173791
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21978) - you deserved it (1479)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I cummed back to find mah nieghbor had decided to blow his leaves all over mah yard. FML

#20163199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20137) - you deserved it (1582)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by racking-leaves - United States

Today , I decided to buy a meal 4 a homeless man who was bieng shunned at an intersection. When I went to hand it to him , I realized it was my dad , wereing a tattered old shirt and pretending to be homeless to make some money. big fat FML

#20159880
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31985) - you deserved it (1962)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by BulldogHoops - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I lerened that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping . It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise . My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday . big fat FML

#20160454
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23061) - you deserved it (1661)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)



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