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Friday 29 May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend having sex with another woman. They told me to leave so they could finish, and that "we'll all talk this over later." FML

#21416749
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26119) - you deserved it (1773)

On 05/27/2015 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by hellno (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a call to the rodent rescue I run. They wanted to know if we had any mice for adoption and how much they cost. I told them that we had over 30 mice, and that we don't charge but do take donations. They said, "That's fantastic! I've been struggling to find snake food that isn't frozen!" FML

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML

#21415477
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24983) - you deserved it (6923)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, one of my students tried to bribe me $200 to change his grade. When I said no and told him he was lucky I didn't report him, he went to the dean and told him I offered to change his grade for money. I'm now suspended and under investigation. FML

#21416617
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29447) - you deserved it (2484)

On 05/27/2015 at 12:25pm - work - by UN4 (man) - United States

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

#21415473
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28125) - you deserved it (2012)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I called 911 to report a drunk driver. The operator yelled at me for following the guy and told me to get off the phone because I shouldn't be driving with a phone to my ear. FML

#21416830
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20370) - you deserved it (5021)

On 05/27/2015 at 9:28pm - misc - by drivingmecrazy - United States (California)

Today, I started my day off with a relaxing cup of coffee, the morning paper, and the sound of my mother informing me I will be going to hell for being not believing in God. FML

#21417394
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13896) - you deserved it (2411)

On 05/29/2015 at 12:16am - misc - by idonthavereligion (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, one of my regulars came up to my car in the parking lot. We talked through the window while I put on my makeup. He then asked for a hug because he won't be in for two weeks. I obliged and he was kind enough to slide his hand between my legs. He then gave me $50 not to tell his wife. FML

Today, I lost a book. I'd used my credit card as a bookmark. FML

#21415900
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12661) - you deserved it (40061)

On 05/26/2015 at 2:54am - money - by stupid (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's been exactly 2 years since I graduated college. I make less money in my full-time job now than I did working part-time in college. FML

#21416055
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27404) - you deserved it (2454)

On 05/26/2015 at 12:50pm - money - by Real Life Sucks - United States

Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML

#21417148
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19724) - you deserved it (3149)

On 05/28/2015 at 2:05pm - intimacy - by MarieAmber18 (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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