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Sunday 5 July 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML

#21435086
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25642) - you deserved it (1842)

On 07/01/2015 at 10:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

#21435419
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28272) - you deserved it (1357)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:59pm - misc - by Deaf - United States (California)

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

#21436083
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18669) - you deserved it (1592)

On 07/03/2015 at 10:31pm - misc - by okaydisarray (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

Today, while on a cruise that I paid for, I was forced to babysit my 5 bratty nieces while my sister and her deadbeat boyfriend relaxed in the kid free zone. FML

#21436048
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17158) - you deserved it (3387)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

#21435950
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18733) - you deserved it (2394)

On 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I took an online IQ test, even though I knew they give everyone unrealistically high scores. My score was 73. FML

#21436113
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13562) - you deserved it (3149)

On 07/03/2015 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I learned I don't have a yeast infection. I have herpes. FML

#21434596
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23971) - you deserved it (7110)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:21pm - health - by quiet_screaming_ - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

#21434340
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22300) - you deserved it (2255)

On 06/30/2015 at 12:02pm - animals - by piercednipple (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13961) - you deserved it (1814)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML

#21434871
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11333) - you deserved it (27504)

On 07/01/2015 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)



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