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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got stopped by people asking for donations for their charity services. Being who I am, I hate saying no to people, so I told them "I don't have any money, only my card." Did you know they also accept payment by card? FML

#21412233
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25316) - you deserved it (6307)

On 05/18/2015 at 9:22pm - money - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML

#21405167
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29449) - you deserved it (3100)

On 05/05/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were "I hope you have insurance". FML

#21410548
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29496) - you deserved it (1828)

On 05/15/2015 at 2:48pm - misc - by hendrixisgod86 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my main source of income is finding money on the ground. FML

#21406019
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27420) - you deserved it (4828)

On 05/07/2015 at 1:12am - work - by CASH_NoMOMEY - United States (California)

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
88 comments

Today, I surprised my 7 and 1.5 year old girls with a princess dinner. I quickly realized it was a scam when the "princesses" arrived looking more suited to a bachelor party. I was able to quickly get the girls out, but have spent the evening explaining why Pocahontas was heavily tattooed. FML

Today, my boss told me I ask too many questions and that's why they cut my hours in half. Officially, I'm a "Pharmacy Technician in Training", which means I'm trying to teach myself how to do the job without killing someone. All from on the job experience and an outdated textbook. FML

#21402730
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (2250)

On 05/01/2015 at 2:12am - work - by PharmSlave (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out the reason why my car has smelled so bad for the past two weeks. It turns out when my sister was bringing in groceries from my car she forgot to grab the raw chicken. FML

Today, the cops showed up at our door at 11 pm. Apparently, our neighbours thought I was being abused because they heard high-pitched screaming for 45 minutes straight. Little did they know our 6-month-old baby screams when she's happy. Loudly. FML

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

#21415031
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23713) - you deserved it (3606)

On 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by ugh - United States (Michigan)

Today, not thinking and being pissed off, I threw my phone in the car, making a decent sized crack in the windshield. FML

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML

#21416018
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20479) - you deserved it (1887)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:12am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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