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August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

#21456098
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22766) - you deserved it (2549)

On 08/14/2015 at 6:40pm - animals - by Wellthisishawkward - United States

Today, the boy that I met online six months ago and expressed my love to sent me a picture of himself and confessed how old he really was: thirteen. I'm eighteen years old and holding a steady job. FML

#21460634
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19415) - you deserved it (6610)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:38pm - love - by FlyAwayPlease (woman) - United Kingdom (Flintshire)

Today, I discovered that the five-star meal that my friend treated me to last night was actually meant to be repayment of the $200 I loaned her last month. I needed that money for bills and she refuses to give me another cent. FML

#21452638
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24837) - you deserved it (2177)

On 08/06/2015 at 6:50am - money - by Full Stomach Empty Wallet - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML

#21452247
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25311) - you deserved it (2240)

On 08/05/2015 at 1:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a text from the guy I've been in love with for 3 years, saying: "So um, I've been wondering. Did you used to be a man?" FML

#21454260
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23855) - you deserved it (1982)

On 08/10/2015 at 11:35am - love - by butchapparently (woman) -

Today, while in line at the supermarket, I told the lady behind me that she had a cute baby. She shot me a disgusted look and straight up accused me of being a pedophile. FML

#21460397
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22133) - you deserved it (1464)

On 08/25/2015 at 2:49am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, a fifth grader gave me a note from his "father" excusing him from PE. It was riddled with spelling errors and shockingly poor grammar, so I rejected it as a blatant fake. Several hours later, I was informed by his very angry father that it wasn't actually fake. FML

#21460557
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23428) - you deserved it (3228)

On 08/25/2015 at 3:22pm - kids - by shit.jpg (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML

#21456100
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22724) - you deserved it (1808)

On 08/14/2015 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by maybe if i was paid like them i would (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend hasn't showered in two weeks. He says he doesn't want his "manliness" to wash off. FML

#21450770
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22964) - you deserved it (2631)

On 08/02/2015 at 5:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada

Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML

#21453630
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22039) - you deserved it (2718)

On 08/08/2015 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

#21455888
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21952) - you deserved it (8708)

On 08/14/2015 at 5:35am - work - by babbling idiot - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, and he asked me to tell him what I wanted him to do. I said I wanted him to make me scream and cum. To which he replied, "Okay, be realistic now". FML

Today, at work, the girl I've been into for the past 6 months confessed that she liked me, but also confessed she had sex with our boss. Our boss happens to be my dad. FML

#21452615
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26824) - you deserved it (1656)

On 08/06/2015 at 4:33am - work - by anonymous - United States (California)



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