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August 2016

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Today, a woman threatened to stab my eyes out because I wouldn't let her into the shop I closed and locked up half an hour ago. FML

by iloveretail / 08/08/2016 at 3:14pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Work

Today, Snapchat thought my double chin was a mouth. FML

by Weightlosshereicome / 08/08/2016 at 6:06am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I was in a public toilet. I looked down and realised someone in the stall next to me was peeing on my foot underneath the divider. They didn't even attempt to aim for the toilet bowl. FML

by Anonymoose / 08/19/2016 at 4:06pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the chiropractor for a check up. She was going through some of the ways to help my posture and mentioned something that I've never heard before. My fat ass thought it was a type of food. Turns out it was a sports routine. FML

by Epithymia / 08/15/2016 at 11:09am / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Health

Today, I told the girl working the scanner that half the documents I was indexing from her were upside down. Now ALL of them are upside down. FML

by thx. / 08/04/2016 at 4:35pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I had to get two teenagers to stop playing bumper cars with the electric scooters at the grocery store I work at. I'm seventeen, and they don't pay me enough for this. FML

by pat3212 / 08/11/2016 at 6:56pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I'm so broke, I resorted to breaking into my old apartment complex to do my laundry in the basement for free. FML

by itscalledaphonecontractretards / 08/09/2016 at 1:54pm / United States (Texas) / Money

Today, I went to my first job interview. I didn't think I was doing too badly, until the interviewer said, "Wait a second, you're in high school?" I explained that the guy who'd called me had said that this wouldn't be a problem. I then watched as my interviewer left his desk to "deal" with him. FML

by DeepFriedZombie / 08/08/2016 at 8:18pm / Work

Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

by Chef stupid / 08/11/2016 at 11:32am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, two customers complained about the shitty service they received from my coworkers. I apologized and asked about the complaint. Their issues were legitimate and I promised to pass them on. They demanded to speak to my manager and my coworkers got in trouble. Now they think I'm a snitch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2016 at 8:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2016 at 5:25pm / Animals

Today, I pronounced FAQ as 'fuck' to my boss. I'm not a native speaker. FML

by looser / 08/09/2016 at 8:48pm / Work

Today, my boyfriend bought me Cards Against Humanity because he thinks it would give me some motivation to make friends since I only have one and need three to play. Sad thing is, he's right. FML

by ellieinc / 08/07/2016 at 11:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous