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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30410) - you deserved it (5576)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my psycho ex boyfriend, who I broke up with over a month ago showed up at my work yelling and crying because I didn't get him anything for his birthday. My boss now thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#21109350
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38990) - you deserved it (3800)

On 04/10/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by crazytown (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML

#21102371
93 comments

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed hysterically. FML

#21108537
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20190) - you deserved it (33954)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by BabyButt - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I really needed to be cheered up a bit after having had a horrible, depressing weekend. Luckily the guy I've been dating for some time, and who I really like, invited me over for dinner. Apparently, he wanted to see me so he could tell me he thinks we should stop seeing each other. FML

Today, my dad had a chat with my fiancé, telling him he can do better than me, and to think carefully before going through with our wedding. FML

#21104564
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39382) - you deserved it (3168)

On 04/04/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by fuck off, dad (woman) - Colombia

Today, my little brother was feeling like the god damned bratty douchebag he is and hurled a basketball at me. It missed, hit the wall, and rebounded straight into his face. He burst into tears, and I'm now grounded because my parents believed him when he said I threw it at him. FML

#21107739
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44022) - you deserved it (3118)

On 04/08/2014 at 4:13pm - kids - by vreenya (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I texted my ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and asked him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". FML

#21118642
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6253) - you deserved it (1616)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by kelly.duggan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that the only female who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

#21113897
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34254) - you deserved it (3423)

On 04/15/2014 at 5:55pm - love - by gerontofuck (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML

#21104621
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33479) - you deserved it (3181)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by kaheera4 (woman) - United States

Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

#21105694
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35812) - you deserved it (4094)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:57am - misc - by FaceTime issues - United States (Arizona)

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35937) - you deserved it (3393)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

#21114019
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30049) - you deserved it (4430)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:20pm - kids - by Someone (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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