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August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I responded to an argument with my girlfriend by only using comebacks she'd used in previous arguments. I'm single now. FML

#21451268
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22791) - you deserved it (9758)

On 08/03/2015 at 10:14am - love - by Cygnus - United States (Iowa)

Today, feeling very self-conscious about my looks, I told my mom I felt ugly and wished I could be as beautiful as her. She only said, "Yeah, I'm pretty, I wonder what happened to you." FML

#21452786
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25320) - you deserved it (2643)

On 08/06/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by ugly duckling - United States (Virginia)

Today, I washed all the dishes and cups from the family dinner last night and put them away. When my wife saw, she had a mini OCD breakdown and yelled at me because the cups weren't lined up with each other with the handles aligned and the flower pictures facing out left. FML

#21461576
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16315) - you deserved it (2072)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:41am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife handed over most of our son's college fund, in cash, to an investment scammer going by the name "Herp A. Derpson". FML

#21453336
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27807) - you deserved it (3079)

On 08/08/2015 at 12:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that you can ruin a $500 computer with a few stray drops of 100% acetone nail polish remover on the keyboard. FML

#21452034
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11948) - you deserved it (19614)

On 08/05/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by just wanted nice nails - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML

#21455905
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28029) - you deserved it (1521)

On 08/14/2015 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ukraine (Donets'ka Oblast')

Today, after ranting to my best friend about how all our friends are having kids and how teenage pregnancy will ruin their lives, she announced to me that she's pregnant. FML

#21452790
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (5735)

On 08/06/2015 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

#21458732
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21348) - you deserved it (5036)

On 08/21/2015 at 1:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

#21459977
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18234) - you deserved it (7939)

On 08/24/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Annie (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML

#21450491
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25961) - you deserved it (2992)

On 08/01/2015 at 3:06pm - animals - by Wow (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got fired from my part-time job, because I insisted on keeping my phone in my pocket and never using it, instead of putting it in locker without a lock or security camera, that anyone can go through. The manager found out by searching my locker for the past 3 weeks. Ironic. FML

#21452906
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25438) - you deserved it (2032)

On 08/06/2015 at 8:29pm - work - by Chesty Larue - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wasn't feeling our two-month relationship was up to par with his parents' 30-year marriage, and, furthermore, I wasn't similar enough to his mother. FML

#21452087
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (1905)

On 08/05/2015 at 2:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

#21456098
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22766) - you deserved it (2550)

On 08/14/2015 at 6:40pm - animals - by Wellthisishawkward - United States



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