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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

#21409473
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31148) - you deserved it (2332)

On 05/13/2015 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after a 2 month relationship, I realized two things: A) Dating a known psycho because "crazy chicks are great in bed" is a dumb idea, and B) What crazy chicks are actually great at is beating the crap out of you and driving you to alcoholism. FML

#21402940
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14167) - you deserved it (28969)

On 05/01/2015 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML

#21410631
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31409) - you deserved it (1806)

On 05/15/2015 at 6:26pm - money - by that was mine - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went indoor rock climbing. After finally making it to the top, my pants ripped on my last move. I wasn't wearing any underwear. FML

#21412970
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21227) - you deserved it (18658)

On 05/20/2015 at 10:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30696) - you deserved it (2922)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he was dating me. He replied, "Well, there's not a lot of options at this college." FML

#21410138
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (4196)

On 05/14/2015 at 6:17pm - love - by what even - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost a book. I'd used my credit card as a bookmark. FML

#21415900
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12303) - you deserved it (39143)

On 05/26/2015 at 2:54am - money - by stupid (man) - United States (California)

Today, a couple asked me donate my eggs so they could start a family. When I refused, I was called heartless by my ex-husband and the woman he cheated on me with for over two years. FML

#21410986
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35624) - you deserved it (2065)

On 05/16/2015 at 1:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, while out shopping with friends, I was apphrehended by two bounty hunters because they recognized my purple-dyed hair. Too bad my name isn't Natalie, who apparently shares the same hair color. They didn't believe me, even after I showed my ID. FML

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said, "Sure, but not yet." As we've been together for five years, I was a bit confused, but she cleared that up with, "Not until your dad has died, I don't want him to ruin my wedding with a bad toast." FML

#21405053
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34570) - you deserved it (2785)

On 05/05/2015 at 10:44am - love - by inheritance (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my girlfriend suggested we start using a safe word during sex - not because we're into BDSM or anything like that, it's just in case she gets bored and wants me to stop. FML

#21412386
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27992) - you deserved it (4412)

On 05/19/2015 at 2:45am - intimacy - by username - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I found out why my husband has been coming home from work so late. Turns out he loves to help people. Specifically female people. And by help, I mean sleep with. FML

#21403935
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32711) - you deserved it (2464)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by I pick em' good - United States



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