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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband of 3 weeks told me he doesn't want to be married anymore because I suggested getting a joint bank account. FML

#21393373
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27368) - you deserved it (3754)

On 04/14/2015 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML

#21392908
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25901) - you deserved it (5068)

On 04/13/2015 at 11:23am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML

#21393641
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (2206)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm - kids - by Pandistoteles - United States

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

#21394097
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25445) - you deserved it (18511)

On 04/15/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while at my job, a couple became angry with me because I charged them for an extra ranch they'd ordered, as I'm supposed to. When I explained how it says in the menu how any additional sauces are an extra charge, she said nastily, "That's okay, we'll just take it out of your tip". FML

#21388872
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30391) - you deserved it (2206)

On 04/06/2015 at 8:58pm - work - by hexphoenix (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27784) - you deserved it (16437)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

#21397356
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (2899)

On 04/21/2015 at 9:48am - love - by veiny - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got a bikini as a birthday present. I pulled the bikini bottom out of the box first, only to find a pubic hair stuck to the hygienic liner. FML

#21390617
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31052) - you deserved it (2016)

On 04/09/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by gross - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my car needs an oil change. I had to listen the warning alert beep for over 200 miles. FML

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML

#21384991
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26227) - you deserved it (5197)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

#21393183
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27424) - you deserved it (2794)

On 04/13/2015 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, while going down on my boyfriend, I must have gotten a little too enthusiastic because I ripped my tongue's frenulum. We then awkwardly went into the bathroom. While he was washing the blood off his penis, I was hung over the toilet bowl puking because blood makes me woozy. FML



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