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July 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

#21446059
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24441) - you deserved it (2459)

On 07/23/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Ma_Nikka (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my long-distance boyfriend a heartfelt message about how much I missed him. He sent me back a picture of a Minion. FML

#21442865
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25142) - you deserved it (3210)

On 07/17/2015 at 3:04am - love - by anon - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my friend told me that Otter Box phone cases protect the phone whether it's thrown or just dropped. I disagreed. He then threw his phone across the room into a cement wall to prove it. The phone's screen was completely shattered and now he thinks I owe him a new phone. FML

#21447294
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26858) - you deserved it (2376)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by TheAce44 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, an attractive man hit on me for the first time since I ended my 3-year relationship with my cheating ex. Then the man told me he'd just gotten out of prison last week. FML

#21446001
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24390) - you deserved it (2342)

On 07/23/2015 at 1:29pm - love - by monogamyisalie - United States

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

#21446581
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25970) - you deserved it (2719)

On 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by HAIL SITHIS (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a restaurant and asked for vegetarian options. They told me, "We have a chicken Caesar salad, will that work?" FML

#21436862
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21489) - you deserved it (5926)

On 07/05/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while on a cruise that I paid for, I was forced to babysit my 5 bratty nieces while my sister and her deadbeat boyfriend relaxed in the kid free zone. FML

#21436048
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24228) - you deserved it (4585)

On 07/03/2015 at 9:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend's idiotic friend shoved me into a stream so I could be "reunited" with my family, since my name is River. The first thing I saw as I climbed out, soaking wet, was my boyfriend high-fiving his friend. FML

#21443301
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25524) - you deserved it (2417)

On 07/18/2015 at 12:08am - misc - by River (woman) -

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33036) - you deserved it (2320)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

Today, my religious friend and I ended up having wild sex in the back of his mom's minivan. We got interrupted by a priest knocking at our window. Well played God, well played. FML

#21444515
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26712) - you deserved it (7231)

On 07/20/2015 at 1:48pm - intimacy - by Marika - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

#21443446
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25941) - you deserved it (2789)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)



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