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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

#21393558
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33398) - you deserved it (3207)

On 04/14/2015 at 2:15pm - work - by Anyonexx0 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML

#21392355
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28740) - you deserved it (6143)

On 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by left, I guess (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML

#21392816
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33242) - you deserved it (2804)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:43am - love - by whymanwhy (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, my husband called me a nympho after I told him I'd ideally like us to have sex more than once a month. FML

#21398482
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27408) - you deserved it (2072)

On 04/23/2015 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 13-year-old sister told me that she wants to get pregnant soon to stop her periods for a while. I can't believe we're related. FML

#21393492
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30584) - you deserved it (2400)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:49am - health - by TheGoodSister - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my grandma told me point-blank that she despises gays, but that she'll go to my wedding for the booze and nothing more. FML

#21396211
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29198) - you deserved it (4197)

On 04/19/2015 at 12:34pm - love - by leonuniz (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

#21389862
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22414) - you deserved it (16145)

On 04/08/2015 at 6:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was asked to prom by the same guy who "accidentally" cut off a chunk of my hair in class and with whom I haven't had a conversation in my life. When I politely declined he said, "You'll regret this". FML

#21392030
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30321) - you deserved it (2297)

On 04/11/2015 at 9:53pm - misc - by scared4myhair - United States (Michigan)

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

#21388685
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29735) - you deserved it (8925)

On 04/06/2015 at 3:38pm - love - by rhunter17 -

Today, my dad tricked the local biker gang into believing he's actually part of the Russian mob. FML

Today, I came out as bisexual to my 17-year-old sister. She was quiet for a second, then told me she knows for sure I only have "girl parts". I had to explain to her the difference between being bi and being a hermaphrodite. FML

#21397585
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25772) - you deserved it (2827)

On 04/21/2015 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Notthatone (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

#21393865
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29395) - you deserved it (3320)

On 04/15/2015 at 12:17am - kids - by mommylife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML

#21390568
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26682) - you deserved it (2223)

On 04/09/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by fedupson - United States (California)



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