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August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

#21458908
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9478) - you deserved it (28256)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by notwhatithought (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I met my wife's mistress, at the maternity ward in the hospital, after she gave birth to our second child. FML

#21451505
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22693) - you deserved it (1776)

On 08/03/2015 at 9:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

#21457909
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24903) - you deserved it (3798)

On 08/19/2015 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML

#21455940
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20943) - you deserved it (3386)

On 08/14/2015 at 9:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML

#21458825
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23394) - you deserved it (6099)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:25am - kids - by MyBallsForSaleOnEbay (man) - Malta

Today, I learnt the meaning of the phrase "ménage à trois". I had always thought it was synonymous with "fiasco" and have used it several times in essays. FML

Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML

#21458841
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32852) - you deserved it (1548)

On 08/21/2015 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about is not real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML

#21458720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20237) - you deserved it (14449)

On 08/21/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by technicallywroteabook (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized how cheap I am when I blacked out at a water park and some one yelled "Call 911!" I tried to mutter out "No, that's too expensive!" FML

#21456805
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13197) - you deserved it (13683)

On 08/16/2015 at 6:14pm - health - by extremereviews - United States (Texas)

Today, after working incredibly hard to get into college without having to take out loans, classes started. I was told we'll need a $200 piece of software, and we'll fail without it. There's no way I can afford it. FML

#21458353
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23874) - you deserved it (1921)

On 08/20/2015 at 3:21am - misc - by NotCollegeBound (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss at my new job described a client as "retarded". I corrected him with "mentally disabled". He smirked and replied "Whatever. Just explain things to her real slow. After all, she's 'mentally disabled'. And a woman." I need this job so bad that I'll have to just put up with this asshole. FML

#21453104
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24858) - you deserved it (3114)

On 08/07/2015 at 10:27am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my babysitter has been selling the breastmilk I produce for my baby and replacing it with formula, while still taking my money every week. FML

#21453691
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28365) - you deserved it (2093)

On 08/08/2015 at 11:53pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had a box full of crickets in my room. I sealed it up with tape and went to take a shower. When I returned, I found that the box had popped open, releasing almost all of the crickets. I can still hear the chirping. FML



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